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Uncovering the Source of a Mother’s Fear

I’m sharing an example of a past life regression session because it demonstrates how this modality can be very healing on multiple levels. Past life regression often has a “trickle down” effect of alleviating all kinds of subtle fears, even ones that you cannot pinpoint and articulate because your Higher Self knows precisely what you need to grow and move forward more than your conscious mind does.

A young mother (I’ll call her Beth) came in for past life regression therapy to deal with anxiety, depression and some anger. When her 1½ year old son cried, especially at night, she would get chest tightening fears about being a bad mother and not doing a good job.

She regressed to a life as a male military officer who gave orders that resulted in the death of many soldiers. As a decorated officer, he visited the families of some men who had died in battle, and felt guilty and responsible for the grief and struggle that he caused in these fatherless homes. Here are Beth’s words from the session: “As I grow old I become mean and grumpy because I ruined so many people’s lives under my orders, and bitter because I had no choice. I don’t talk about it. I think a lot about Jesus and I hope I go to heaven. I didn’t treat my wife well until I started to die.”

The soul stayed around until after the funeral because it was only after death that he was finally able to take in the love that people had for him. Here are some of the reflections from the vantage point of the soul: “People are proud of those medals, but I had to do a lot of bad stuff to get them. I wanted to let them love me in that life, but I thought if they knew what I did, they wouldn’t have loved me. I can take in that love now and it feels so good. I can be at peace….Time to go….If I come back I want to make a happy home.”

In the soul realm, the soul apologized to the souls of the families who were affected by his orders. We can do this because everyone and everything is ultimately interconnected – especially where there are unresolved issues between beings. But as so often happens in that realm, a knowing response came back that apologies are unnecessary since everyone was blindly role-playing on earth, and everything ultimately turns out fine in the end. Human struggles become opportunities for soul growth. We then could easily release the unresolved thought-form energy of guilt, anger and fear from the heart that the military officer died with and thus got carried over into this incarnation, resulting in Beth’s chest-tightening fears when her baby cried. She then got back warm, bright love…the natural replacement. This resulted in a higher vibration, and then insights began to drop in: “I need to be with my son from love, not fear. It’s ok to have feelings and feel frustrated at times, it doesn’t mean I’m a bad mother. I know I’m a good mother. It’s safe to be myself and be the loving, great mother that I am.” We then let her body fully feel that truth at the cellular level which allowed it to sink deeper in her subconscious mind.

Six weeks later, Beth wrote this: “The session was a big help to me. I felt better right away regarding my son and his crying at night. As the weeks went by, I slowly started feeling less anxious on deeper levels. Not sure how to explain it, but it was just a sense that this life is just one life among many. I knew that before, but after the session for some reason it took a lot of the anxiety away from my everyday life.”

Sometimes we can understand things intellectually, but it doesn’t resonate until we really know it at a deeper “body” level. Beth believed intellectually that her present life as a mother was one of many lives, but towards the end of the session, she was able to feel and experience her “eternalness” while steeped in the freedom, peace and clarity of her soul self. The immortality of her true self “upgraded” from a belief to an inner knowing, thus integrating more deeply into the body/subconscious mind. Then she could more easily feel and live from the truth of her soul instead of conditioned fear-based beliefs.

The feelings of deep inner assurance are within all of us. In fact, we can’t escape them because they are an aspect of who and what we are as a soul, but they do get covered up in this human experience. What I’ve noticed over the years is that for some people, the wisdom and insights of the soul can easily sink in deeply after only one session, while others may need another “reinforcement” session or two, depending on their essence. Whether a person experiences a past life regression, a Life-Between-Lives or an Emotional Healing and Awakening session, each one or a combination of them will deepen and strengthen the integration of the soul’s perspective. This in turn can loosen and heal life-long mental and emotional patterns that hold one back in life and thus bolster one’s identity as a multi-dimensional being.

The 4 Qualities of a Conscious Relationship

I came across an article written by a Marriage and Family Therapist named Shelly Bullard. She articulated some helpful points about the nature and purpose of relationships, so I wanted to share it. In the past, relationships were more functional, and if love was expressed, that was icing on the cake. But as we evolve as humans, relationships can be used as an efficient means by which to grow and further evolve. As a soul, our deepest core of love yearns to be expressed and experienced, yet this can be challenging in long term relationships because our issues from our conditioning can block this expression. Therefore, relationships potentially create the perfect setting for each of us to clear our own programming and conditioning so our true essence of love can be experienced in the physical realm…and that is quite the reward. In fact, it has been said that this is one of the reasons for incarnating here. Please enjoy!

“We are approaching a period of time when relationships are ready to go through a major redesign. The current paradigm isn’t working. People are unsatisfied in love; people don’t know how to make relationships work.

And, believe it or not, this isn’t a bad thing. Because when systems break-down, that’s when they change. I believe that’s what’s happening in the area of intimate partnership. The break-down is forcing us to move towards conscious love.

So what exactly is a conscious relationship?

It’s a romantic relationship in which both partners feel committed to a sense of purpose, and that purpose is growth. Individual growth. Collective growth as a couple. Growth that makes the world a better place.

As of now, most people get into relationships to satisfy their own personal needs. This might work for a few years, but eventually the relationship fails us, and we end up unsatisfied as a result.

But when two people come together with the intention of growth, the relationship strives towards something much greater than gratification. The partnership becomes a journey of evolution, and the two individuals have an opportunity to expand more than they could alone. Deep satisfaction and long-term fulfillment arise as a result.

So if you’re someone who feels called to take your experience of romantic love to the next level, below are four qualities that characterize what being a conscious couple is all about. Welcome to the path of the conscious relationship. This is next-level love …

1. The conscious couple is not attached to the outcome of the relationship – growth comes first.

Not being attached to the outcome of the relationship does not mean you don’t care what happens! It also doesn’t mean that you don’t have fantasies about how the relationship will turn out.

What it means is: you’re more committed to the experience of growth than you are to making the relationship “work.”

The reality is, we’re here to grow. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When growth stops, we automatically feel like something’s gone wrong. Because it has. Without growth, we aren’t fulfilling our soul’s purpose.

Unfortunately, relationships today tend to stifle growth more than enhance it. This is one of the main reasons we’re failing at romantic love.

We want our partners to act in a certain way, we repress ourselves to please to others, and soon enough, we feel small, oppressed and puzzled about who we’ve become. This, inevitably, makes the relationship feel like a cage that we want to break out of. But the unfortunate truth is: we’ve caged ourselves.

The conscious couple values growth more than anything else because they know this is the secret to keeping the relationship alive. Even though growth is scary (because it takes us into the unknown), the couple is willing to strive towards expansion, even at the risk of out-growing the relationship. Because of this, the relationship maintains a natural feeling of aliveness, and love between the couple does, too.

2. Each person in the relationship is committed to owning their s#*t.

Conscious couples know that we all have wounds from the past, and they understand that these wounds will inevitably be triggered, especially in a relationship. In other words, they expect to feel abandoned, trapped, rejected, overlooked and any other shitty feeling that arises when we bond closely with another person.

Most of us still believe that relationships should only feel good, and when bad feelings surface, something has gone terribly wrong. What we fail to see in this situation is that these shitty feelings stem from our own faulty patterning! These issues are not caused by our partners; they’re caused by our beliefs.

The conscious couple is willing to look at their past and current issues in relationships because they know that by facing these beliefs systems, they can evolve into a new relationship-reality. Dysfunctional patterns will dissolve, but only when we take responsibility for them, first.

3. All feelings are welcome and no internal process is condemned.

In a conscious relationship, there’s room to feel anything. Not only that, there’s room to express those feelings and fantasies to your partner. This is edgy territory… it’s not easy to do. But it’s also one of the most healing things we can experience in a partnership

It’s rare to be completely honest about who you are, and to stretch yourself to let your partner do the same. You may not like what you hear; in fact, it may trigger the hell out of you. But you’re willing to be triggered if it means your partner can be authentic.

Like I already said, we’re used to molding and changing ourselves to please people we love because we don’t want them to stop loving us! This stifles the love out of our connections.

The only option is radical honesty: revealing parts of ourselves that are hard to share, and letting our partners do the same. This leads to feeling known, seen and truly understood — a combination that will automatically enhance your love.

4. The relationship is a place to practice love.

Love, ultimately, is a practice. A practice of acceptance, being present, forgiveness, and stretching your heart into vulnerable territories.

Sometimes we treat love like it’s a destination. We want that peak feeling all the time, and when it’s not there, we’re not satisfied with what the relationship has become. In my mind, this is missing the whole point of love.

Love is a journey and an exploration. It’s showing up for all varied nuances of your relationship and asking yourself, What would love do here?” The answer will be different every time, and because of this, you’ll get to grow in ways you never have before!

The conscious couple is fiercely committed to being the embodiment of love. And through their devotion and practice, love shows up in their lives and relationship in ways they would’ve never imagined before.”

Befriending an Unwanted Emotion

It feels almost instinctual as a human being to avoid a negative feeling. If something from the past doesn’t feel good, it’s quite common and understandable to distract yourself from it through any number of ways such as using chemicals, overeating, overworking, etc. This may seem to help for awhile, however, the act of avoidance keeps it locked in your body/mind system, unconsciously influencing you in a limiting way. You may even to decide to deal with the symptoms of the unwanted feeling with medications or coping skills, which can be helpful. But there may come a time when you decide to heal and release the root of it. When you do, a key to releasing an unwanted emotion lies in the last place one would expect to find it…inside the negative feeling itself!

Where would you look to find the unwanted past that has a grip on your underlying feelings and beliefs? Although the past no longer exists, it can have a strong, influential hold on us. The body is a good place to look because it is a storehouse of old, outdated feelings that have not been given a chance to be fully articulated, expressed and/or processed.

In the paradigm of higher consciousness, unwanted feelings are not avoided, but instead viewed more as a small child nagging for attention because they are ready to be liberated from your body/mind system. As this happens, you become a freer human being…a clearer expression of your soul, rather than an expression of the fears from your past programming and conditioning. A negative feeling is simply a guidepost that informs us that we are out of alignment with our soul’s perspective, while a feeling of harmony and joy indicates we are in alignment with our soul’s purpose.

These days there are an increasing amount of emotional healing methods such as EFT, EMDR, Emotion Code, etc. The right fit varies among individuals. It’s important to note that healing is a process that happens in layers. A triggered emotion means you’re ready for the next layer to release. I often use a light trance method that is a combination of effective techniques called the Emotional Healing and Awakening session. It’s a process that’s best done with a guide who can keep your focus anchored in the present moment. When you permit a negative emotion to be your guide, it illuminates the unconscious beliefs it operates from, as well as where it originated. The key is to place your full attention into that negative emotion. As a result, the past is then reduced to a sensation in the body. The moment you fully feel it in the body, you have switched from thinking mode to feeling mode, and you’ve become anchored in the present moment. When anchored in the present moment, you can access the subconscious mind, thus uncovering the unconscious beliefs that this emotion operates from, as well as allowing it to point toward any situations, events or circumstances that contributed to this feeling. With your will and intent, you can send the negative energy out of your body and recover the part of you that was lost when you took on that negative emotion.

Here’s an example: A man came to me with debilitating anxiety. As he fine-tuned his focus on it, he could feel it most in his stomach. Often, I ask the client to give the emotion a voice and let it say what the feeling is. “I feel fear,” is what it said. I had it continue…”I feel most afraid because…I might make a mistake.” Again I had the feeling continue, “And that means…I’ll be judged and criticized.” “And that means…I won’t be loved, and I’ll be all alone.” In this manner we got to the subconscious beliefs which were lying beneath the anxiety, and were fueling it and locking it into place. Next, we allowed the anxiety to guide his awareness to the scenes and situations earlier in his life that caused the feeling. The scenes all related to a father who would not tolerate mistakes, thus it became imperative for him to not make a mistake. These tense energies from early events had been trapped and replayed in his body for years, creating a pressure-cooker effect that exacerbated his anxiety. As he focused and felt the feelings from the past in his body, he could then release them from his body/mind system, and bring in the part of himself that was covered up and lost when he took on the fear-based energy. After then doing healing work on the timeline of his life, his body steeped in the lighter energies of freedom, strength and confidence, and these positive emotions became more strongly embedded in his subconscious mind and in the cellular memory of his body.

Our negative feelings are not who we are, but who we are can observe, understand, release and heal them with intention. As long as we fear and avoid them, they will enslave us. But when we allow them to guide us to what wants to be acknowledged and no longer hidden within us, we can liberate these negative energies from our body/mind systems, enabling us to live from the true freedom that we are as souls, and which we can never really escape from!