The Blessing of Conscious and Unconscious Relationships

One of my favorite teachers of spiritual awakening is local sage Leonard Jacobson. He has a way of eloquently articulating wisdom and Truth that has greatly benefited me and so many others. He recently wrote a short article called The Blessing of Conscious and Unconscious Relationships. It so succinctly and accurately explains the dynamics in relationships that I wanted to share it with everyone here. Please enjoy Leonard’s life-changing wisdom!

The Blessing of Conscious and Unconscious Relationships

“There are two kinds of relationship. The first is a dysfunctional and unconscious relationship, based in the past and future. The second is a conscious relationship based in the present moment.

When a relationship is based in the past, we are looking to our partner to fulfill needs that were not met in childhood by our parents. Our mother and father were not present for us in the way we needed them to be.

As a result, we did not feel loved and accepted in a way that made us feel safe, and so to varying degrees, we developed limiting beliefs that now affect every aspect of our lives and our relationships.

These beliefs include: I am not loved, I am not good enough, I am not accepted, there is no one here for me, I am unworthy, I am alone, I am abandoned, I have to repress my feelings, I don’t count, I can’t ask for what I want, I have to please others, just to name a few.

These beliefs are associated with very painful feelings that we learn to repress. We then embark upon a journey to find someone who will be here for us and who will meet that unfilled need to be loved, accepted and acknowledged.

The problem is that life manifests as a reflection of our inner world, so that we attract people into our lives who match those limiting beliefs.

We attract people into our lives who are not loving or accepting, and so the pain of living in a world where no one is truly present with us continues. If we attract a partner who is loving and accepting, we cannot really feel it or allow it in, because it contradicts our deeper beliefs.

In an unconscious relationship, our repressed emotions are constantly being triggered, and we project the blame onto our partner, when what is really happening is that our partner is simply triggering feelings repressed within us from our past.

In an unconscious relationship, we are lost in our story and we are trying to get our partner to enter our story to make it better.

Some typical issues that arise in an unconscious relationship are blame, guilt, expectation and resentment. In an unconscious relationship, control patterns and judgment are often a source of conflict.

An unconscious relationship is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact I recommend it! It gives us the opportunity to look into the mirror that is the relationship, and bring consciousness to all the unconscious aspects of ourselves, all the unhealed emotional wounds and all those limiting beliefs still with us from childhood.

This kind of relationship gives us the opportunity to witness certain aspects of our personality, which we would prefer to ignore, deny or project onto our partner. It gives us the opportunity to be observant of our control patterns and judgments.

How present are you with your partner? How do you express love? Are you generous, grateful, compassionate and supportive? Are you judgmental and controlling?

Are you filled with expectations that you do not clearly express, and when those expectations are not met, do you become resentful? When you are hurt, do you become angry or do you withdraw? How do you express your anger? Are you abusive? Are you a victim?

These are just some of the issues and questions that must be addressed and brought to consciousness if you want to move from a dysfunctional relationship to a conscious relationship.

In a conscious relationship, we are fundamentally present.

We have been through a process of healing the past. We have released ourselves from those limiting beliefs from childhood and we have emptied those reservoirs of emotions that were repressed within us.

We have embraced responsibility for ourselves at every level. We feel whole and complete within ourselves and we do not need our partner to complete us or make us feel safe and secure.

We no longer need our partner to be here for us, but rather we want our partner to be here with us.

Just to change one simple word from ‘for’ to ‘with’ radically transforms the relationship. In a conscious relationship, both parties are empowered from within and are not seeking to have power or control over the other. In a conscious relationship, communication is clear and direct and honest.

A conscious relationship does not have to be perfect. It is OK to make mistakes as long as both parties to the relationship are willing to take responsibility for whatever is arising within them. In fact, it is in making mistakes or lapsing into unconsciousness that affords us with the opportunity for greater consciousness, provided we are willing and able to look into the mirror that is the relationship and to own, acknowledge and confess any unconscious aspect of ourselves we see reflected there.

At the deepest level, the real gift we bring to each other is the gift of Presence.

When you are present you are, by your very nature, loving, accepting, compassionate, generous, grateful and allowing. When you are present, you are without judgment. The more that Presence is the foundation of your relationship, the more fulfilling, joyful and uncomplicated it will be.

In a conscious relationship, we relate to each other in the moment and do not seek comfort from the idea that someone will be there to make us feel safe in one year or five years or for a lifetime. In truth there is only NOW! When we come to terms with that simple truth, it will open us into a life of freedom, truth and love.

A conscious relationship is a great blessing. It provides you with a companion with whom you can share a loving life. An unconscious relationship is also a great blessing. It provides you with a remarkable opportunity to wake up out of your unconsciousness.”

Love Image - June 21, 2020 blog

The Evolution of Humanity

“The difference between duality consciousness and unity consciousness is profound. In the former, you appear to be separate from all others, and clashing is nigh unto inevitable. In the latter, you experience total connection. You do not think about the connection, for then you are still in duality. Nay, you shift your perspective to the experience of oneness. What does this feel like? We could describe it in a thousand words and you still would not know. But the soul knows. The soul remembers. Ask within to know oneness while sitting quietly. And then, go there often, most especially when you experience strife within the duality. This is the beauty of awakening. You are so very loved.” – Sanaya, channeled through Suzanne Giesemann

I would encourage anyone on the path of spiritual awakening to sign up for these free daily pearls of channeled wisdom from Suzanne Giesemann. They can help re-align your perspective from human to soul, and from bondage to liberation.

Since we are multi-dimensional beings, we have access to different lenses to view life from. It is common and natural to view life from the human perspective that is often based in the fear of losing something…another person or pet, health, life, money, success, admiration, etc. This is natural because this human realm is the realm of loss. Yet behind the scenes is another part of you that is eternal, free of loss and based in love. Humanity is just on the verge of awakening to the soul part of us that is animating our bodies. A multitude of books about the soul are emerging, such as A Lawyer Presents the Evidence of the Afterlife by Victor Zammit. There is now even a popular Netflix series called Surviving Death. When we begin to identify more with the soul aspect of ourselves, it will be the perception shift that brings freedom. One part of us experiences hurt and death, while the other part of us cannot die and is based in love. And we cannot separate ourselves from this part of us.

One way to experience the transcendent part of us is through past life regression. Probably the greatest attribute of one of these sessions is that it ultimately allows a person to experience what it is like to be outside of the programming and conditioning of the human mind, take on new perspectives from a different human role, and then ultimately be free of the human mindset altogether after the life is over. At that point in the session, the deeper you go into the spiritual realm, the more you’ll experience the soul’s perspective that is based in love and is interested in growth and evolution.

One part of us is mostly based in fear and lack, while the other, more permanent part of us, is based in love, peace and a freedom which lacks nothing. This part of us seeks to be the source of so much for others…a source of compassion, comfort, love and strength. To be able to express this in human form is what feels the most harmonious to the soul.

What if you absolutely knew you were role-playing your life? Like a lucid dream in which you could be awake while living in the role that you’re playing? That is what life feels like during the part of the regression experience where you connect to your soul self. You gain the understanding that you can choose how you go through life, how you respond to challenges and how you relate to others. This choice then often helps to create what comes back to you via the law of attraction. What you put out in the world tends to come back to you.

I will close with another quote from Sanaya, the group of wise spiritual beings channeled by Suzanne Giesemann:

“Would you ask the deep life questions if one you love had not passed? Would you wonder about the purpose of life, the eternality of it if you did not feel a longing to be with them for eternity? There is purpose in the brevity of the physical life. Brevity, of course, is a relative thing, for there is a psychological aspect to time. At times it seems to drag, and yet, when one you love is gone, it can seem an eternity until you will see them again. You are all eternal. You will see each other again, but the absence of seeing, for now, serves a purpose. It nudges you to discover the purpose of being. We could tell you what that is, but that would be cheating you out of the experience of experiencing your purpose. And so, there is great purpose in our silence. There is great purpose in birth and death in this parenthesis in eternity. Ask the questions. Experience the answer, Love. You are This.”

A New Understanding of Trauma that Changes Everything

In a way, human life is about accumulating traumas which in turn create subtle fear-based beliefs that govern our lives until we awaken to them and realize we can heal and release these fears and limiting beliefs. We can heal them because they are based in the past, and the past no longer exists. Why does something that doesn’t exist still affect us? Because the traumatic “past” is stored in our body and subconscious mind.

We can become aware of the trauma blocks in the body and let them go when we become conscious and aware of them. We usually begin to become aware of them when they get in our way, like when we have anxiety about getting too close to someone we love, or about taking a test and making a mistake. We become aware of our limiting beliefs and fears when they create havoc in our life. Carl Jung once said about healing: “Healing is about making conscious that which is unconscious.”

Both my wife Maggie and I help people heal from past traumas, although we use different modalities. She uses Quantum Neuro Reset Therapy (QNRT), while I use a body-based hypnotherapy technique which I call the Emotional Healing and Awakening Session, which is about releasing the effects of traumas from the body and subconscious mind while connecting to the wisdom of your soul self. Maggie is so fired up about healing her own trauma as well as anyone else who wants to heal their trauma, that she wrote an article for her website which explains what many people don’t realize about trauma. I’m sharing that article here with her encouragement, and with a few tweaks that I took the liberty of making. Also, the last paragraph is written by me because it relates to my clients. So please enjoy most of Maggie’s words:

Is Trauma Affecting Me?

One of my driving missions in life is to help people understand trauma so they can recognize and move past it. Believe it or not, everyone on the planet has experienced trauma to varying degrees.

It can be debilitating to be affected by trauma and not know what it is or how to get rid of it. Many people don’t seek the help they need because they minimize the difficult things that have happened in their lives by comparing themselves to others who have had it much worse. It’s important to know that – like most things in life – trauma runs on a spectrum.

There’s an outdated mental health belief that you have to be really struggling in life before you need therapy or other healing modalities. Most people think that if they are high functioning in life, the pain of their past must not be affecting them. This isn’t the case. Seeking support to untangle from your past gives you the ability to thrive in life. You have the potential to feel even better.

The Definition of Trauma

Trauma is officially defined as, “a deeply disturbing or distressing experience.” That’s a pretty benign explanation compared to what most people think, right? We’ve all had deeply disturbing or distressing experiences in our lives. If the word ‘trauma’ overwhelms you or you just don’t care for it, try thinking of trauma simply as difficult situations and experiences throughout your life.

What’s tricky about trauma is that it’s not just in your past as a memory. The pain from the difficult experience is stored in your body, so when you have a similar situation repeat itself later in life, you are left vulnerable to getting triggered and having strong reactions. We actually form a belief about ourselves and/or life when something difficult happens. The trauma of your past can easily get triggered in your life now.

How to Recognize if You’re Affected by Trauma

Many people simply write off their poor behavior or chalk up their ‘weaknesses’ to not being a good person. They feel flawed. They think it’s just part of life to be plagued by anxiety or depression. What a painful way to go through life. There’s more to this story.

We don’t show up as our best selves when we have trauma stored in our body. The latest trauma research shows that it’s stored in our brain, nervous system and other parts of the body, which means you are not going to be able to simply ‘talk’ your way out of trauma. That’s why a body-based approach to releasing trauma is imperative. Some body-based therapies include Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT); EMDR; somatic experiencing; a powerful technique called Quantum Neuro Reset Therapy (QNRT), or a body-based hypnotherapy approach. These modalities address more than just your mind. Using talk therapy to understand your past and how it affects you can certainly be helpful but may not move the trauma out of your body. It’s helpful to make these connections, but it’s imperative to go further so that you don’t keep getting triggered.

A way to know if you’re being triggered by past trauma is by gauging your reaction to something or someone: is it bigger than what the situation warrants? Let me share an example. Let’s say you’re someone who has trauma around not being included, stemming from the time your friend group purposely excluded you on the playground in third grade. Now, as an adult, you find out your family planned a spontaneous get together and (unintentionally) didn’t invite you. You may have intense feelings of anger, sadness or isolation. You may even lash out at them.

Let me also share an analogy. Imagine there is a bloody, raw wound on your knee, which symbolizes not being included by others. And in this above example, your family not inviting you to a party is like someone taking a sharp razor and scratching the surface of your wounded knee. It’s very difficult for most people to not get triggered by their trauma when it gets stirred up by life’s events. Keep in mind, people’s reactions to trauma differs. Some people start to rage and yell while others get sad and withdraw.

If a person does not have trauma around being excluded (a.k.a. there is no bloody wound on their knee) they may simply think that it must have been an oversight and someone forgot to call them. It feels more like someone took a stick and scratched their knee, which felt slightly uncomfortable (a.k.a. disappointed), but not like the intense pain if there was a bloody, raw wound there. See the difference of living life without trauma?

Signs that You May Have Experienced Trauma

Many people I work with are unaware that the root cause of their challenges is past trauma. This list is based on signs of trauma I see in my clients. Can you relate to any of the items on this list?

  • You have an addiction: food, alcohol, phone, drugs, overworking, exercise, etc.
  • You struggle to make friends.
  • You are constantly worried what others will think.
  • You feel inadequate: in your job, parenting, marriage, or friendships, etc.
  • You have an overall feeling of being unworthy and not good enough.
  • You feel you’ve never lived up to your potential.
  • You spend too much time ruminating about your regrets in life.
  • You sabotage yourself when you start to make progress in your life.
  • It’s scary for you to be vulnerable with trusted people in your life.
  • You are anxious, depressed, or both.
  • You have done years of therapy but still feel stuck in your past.
  • It’s hard to consistently get good sleep.
  • You have health conditions that don’t make sense given how well you care for yourself. (Resources: Ted Talk and The Deepest Well by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris)
  • You hustle for your worthiness. You’re always trying to do and be enough in life to be loved.
  • You struggle to connect well with your family.
  • It’s difficult to allow yourself to be loved.
  • You’re uncomfortable accepting help, gifts or compliments from others.
  • It’s difficult for you to take consistent, good care of yourself.
  • You can’t relax and simply do nothing.
  • You are afraid to not be in a relationship.
  • You are afraid to be in a committed relationship.
  • You don’t know how to relax and just play.
  • You operate most of life from your head versus your heart.
  • It’s difficult for you to be in the present moment. You find yourself constantly thinking.
  • You are often reactive to what happens in your life.
  • You are hypervigilant and feel that ‘the other shoe’ is going to drop.
  • You have an ‘all or nothing’ way of operating in life.
  • You worry about money far too much.
  • You avoid feeling your emotions.
  • You have a lot of fears in your life.
  • You feel like nobody truly understands you.
  • You feel like your needs and wants are ‘too much’ for your partner to handle.
  • You have to rely on medication to adjust your mood.
  • You feel like given all the great things in your life you should be happy, but you’re not.
  • You want to be in a loving relationship, but you have fears it will never happen.
  • You often feel overwhelmed by life.
  • You feel like good things happen to others, not you.
  • You keep your life small even though you truly want more.
  • You accept ongoing, poor behavior from your partner and make excuses for them.
  • You find yourself attracting friends and relationships that cause you pain and disappointment.

I could go on and on. This is not a comprehensive list, but hopefully you get the idea. Our natural state is one in which we feel present, open hearted, peaceful and happy. Sound utopic? Well, releasing the trauma stored in your body will certainly get you much closer to these feelings. I think of all of life as spiritual and releasing your trauma helps you wake up to who and what you are at your core….love and pure presence.

What Types of Situations and Events Can Create Trauma?

First, it’s important to know that what creates trauma in one person may not be what creates trauma in another individual. We are all unique and some people may brush off a comment while another person may be deeply hurt by the same comment.

Here are some examples of situations and events that can create trauma:

  • An ongoing experience of parents being distracted and not present with you
  • Parents or caregivers having an addiction of any kind.
  • Kids making fun of you at school
  • Transitions of any kind such as changing schools, moving to a new city/state/country
  • Getting divorced and/or parents divorcing
  • Growing up in poverty or experiencing financial insecurity
  • Being criticized
  • A parent making negative comments about you either overtly or subtly
  • Feeling like you don’t fit in with your peers
  • Not getting your emotional or physical needs met
  • Not being able to fully express your feelings in childhood or adulthood
  • Any physical, sexual or emotional abuse
  • Making a mistake and getting in trouble for it (or not)
  • Experiencing a break up
  • Losing a friend
  • Struggling in your career
  • Growing up in a restrictive religious faith
  • Witnessing violence
  • Physical pain or injury
  • Surgery
  • Losing a loved one
  • Getting fired or let go from a job
  • Being separated from someone you love
  • Getting cut from a team
  • Any type of embarrassing or shaming situation or event
  • Not dating until later in life
  • Being the oldest in your family and parents relying too much on you
  • Being told you’re ‘different’ by someone you care about
  • Having to excel in school and/or extra-curricular activities in order to get love and attention from your parents.
  • Having a parent who tries to live your life because they haven’t successfully created their own
  • Having a sibling who took up an unfair amount of your parents’ attention
  • Struggling to make friends

Again, this is not a comprehensive list, but hopefully this shifts your perspective on trauma.

Don’t We Just get over Trauma with Time?

Time will not heal trauma.

Why do we continue to be affected by past trauma when it’s in the past? One, because as I shared earlier, it’s literally stored in the body and needs to be released using a body-based therapy. And secondly, we unconsciously form a belief about ourselves and/or the world when something distressing or disturbing happens to us. In a way, these beliefs lock the trauma in place. We live our lives 95% based on these (often unconscious) painful, subconscious beliefs. We are walking around in life as if these painful beliefs are true.

When difficult things happen in life, we unconsciously form beliefs such as:

  • I can’t get my needs met.
  • I shouldn’t communicate what I need and want because it will only end in pain.
  • I’m unlovable.
  • I’m unworthy of love.
  • I’ll never get married.
  • I will never have enough money.
  • I don’t fit in.
  • I have to hide my authentic self in order to get love.
  • What I have to say doesn’t matter.
  • I have to accomplish enough in life in order to get love.
  • I have to exhaust myself helping others in order to get love.
  • I can’t trust others, especially those I love.
  • I have to be smart and useful in order to connect with others.

These are just a few examples. You may notice a common theme in these examples – love and connection. As Brene Brown says, “Love and belonging are irreducible human needs.” When someone doesn’t feel unconditionally loved and connected with others when growing up (or as an adult), a lot of trauma can build up over time.

If I asked anyone if they had any of these beliefs, they would often answer ‘no’ because most people are unaware of their subconscious beliefs. But sadly, we live our lives based on these limiting, subconscious beliefs.

How Do You Release Trauma?

Engaging in a body-based therapy such as those mentioned above will allow you to release trauma stored in your body.

How Might I Feel Differently if I Release the Pain of my Past?

My clients report feeling lighter, because of the absence of negative thought-form energy which feels mentally and emotionally heavy. They also report feeling more free and more in touch with their true authentic self which is non-reactive. Also, as you heal the past within you, the “law of attraction” no longer takes place, and you will no longer draw to you situations, events and circumstances that match a low internal vibration of negative thoughts, feelings and beliefs that can be by-products of trauma. Thus, you are no longer caught up in the cycle of being triggered by loved ones who triggered you in the past. Strangers may even respond to you differently, in a more positive, non-reactive way, because you have shifted the energy patterns within yourself, and between you, others and the world. As Paramahansa Yogandanda, author of Autobiography of a Yogi, wrote: “As you heal yourself, you heal the world…far more than you could ever know.”

How to Live in Wild Times

Perspective is a key to happiness. From a higher perspective, it might be helpful to ask the question: Why is it that this earth realm is the realm of fear, loss and brokenness? Because this is the place we’ve elected to come to challenge ourselves as souls. Challenges are our means of personal and spiritual growth.

Nobody escapes earth alive…it’s not designed that way…but the afterlife is. The afterlife is where we evaluate how we dealt with our challenges that we came here to experience. This earth realm is the place where we voluntarily fall asleep to who and what we are behind the veil of our human space suits. When we begin to awaken to the truth of ourselves, to the part of us that’s infinite, and the truth that the human part of us is wholly loved and guided from the spiritual realm, then life on earth with its built-in challenges can become easier to deal with.

How we react and respond to our challenges and to loss is what creates our karma, or in other words, what we might experience in our future. Do we react to hurt and loss by living in fear and guarding our heart, or by using these experiences to grow stronger and perhaps be a guide to others?

One of the lighter challenges in my life is how I deal with the cold weather of Minnesota. I have the habit of feeling cheated somehow when I look at the weather patterns and sometimes see that it’s 15 degrees warmer where I grew up about 4 hours southeast of my current home. It would benefit me to keep in mind the saying, “What you resist persists.” Byron Katie puts it another way: “When you go to war with ‘what is’, you’ll lose every time.” If I’m choosing to live here, acceptance would benefit me. What other areas in our lives could use acceptance? Is it possible to work towards change while having an attitude of accepting whatever unfolds?

Joan Pancoe, astrologer and mystic, recently wrote that if we’re ready to upgrade and refine our attitudes about how to work with the state of the world these days, perhaps no one says it better than Chögyam Trungpa:

“Working with conflict is precisely the idea of walking on the spiritual path. The path is a wild, winding mountain road with all kinds of curves; there are wild animals, attacks by bandits, all kinds of situations cropping up. As far as the occupation of our mind is concerned, the chaos of the path is the fun.

All the things taking place around our world, all the irritations and all the problems, are crucial. Without others we cannot attain enlightenment—in fact, we cannot even tread on the path. If there is no noise outside during our sitting meditation, we cannot develop mindfulness. If we do not have aches and pains in the body, we cannot attain mindfulness; we cannot actually meditate. If everything were lovey-dovey and jellyfish-like, there would be nothing to work with.

Very beautiful situations have developed using chaos as part of the enlightened approach. There is chaos of all kinds developing all the time: psychological disorder, social disorder, metaphysical disorder, or physical disorder, constantly happening. If you are trying to stop those situations, you are looking for external means of liberating yourself, another answer. But if we are able to look into the basic situation, then chaos is the inspiration, confusion is the inspiration.”

Adyashanti challenges us to ask the question in any situation: “What is the highest truth right now?” It always comes back to what is referred to in Hindu scriptures, “God’s Lila, or God’s play.” We are all a part of God experiencing ourselves. We’re all role-playing here. This perspective is a good one to hold in the back of your mind when facing the inevitable ups and downs of life.

sunbeam

The Death of My Mother

My mom died two weeks ago. It came as a relief as her 20 year struggle with Parkinson’s had taken its toll. By the end she couldn’t speak or move, although we knew she could hear us as her breathing would change and speed up, or she would get teary when we would share memories or speak from our heart. As the youngest of 4 kids, we had a special bond. My siblings tease me to this day about being her “favorite”. I will always cherish her love.

I am grateful for an awareness of the afterlife because it helped me encourage mom to let go and be with my dad who passed away 9 years ago. It also helped me to be happy for her when she finally died. I cried a mixture of tears of joy and celebration for her and also sadness for the finality of the physical loss. The best thing anyone can do with a loss is to allow the energy of grief to move through you. Then, couple it with the awareness that you can still communicate with them, you’ll see them again, and that love never dies. My brother David made a beautiful, 5-minute video called Celebrating Sally Link Christopher. This has helped me and my family through the grieving process.

Given my work, I’ve had the experience of guiding thousands of people to past lives and the spirit world. One thing the journeys all have in common is a feeling of “going home”, and of being immersed in a lighter vibration of love and total acceptance as they moved higher and deeper into the spirit world.

Because of my work, I’ve also had the privilege of being introduced to several afterlife researchers. One of them is Victor Zammit who wrote the book, A Lawyer Presents the Evidence of the Afterlife. He and his wife send out a fascinating, free weekly newsletter called the Afterlife Reportsomething worth checking out if you’re interested in the topic.

A few years ago, I was introduced to a book called Flying High in Spirit, by Carol and Mikey Morgan (available on Amazon). It’s about a young man named Mikey who went to a Catholic high school about a mile or two from my home office. He was beginning his third year of college in Colorado when he was killed in a car accident. For several months after his death, he sent obvious signs and messages to his family that he was still alive and conscious, just not in a body.

When his mother Carol gradually accepted that he was communicating with her, he guided her to an intuitive development class so she could communicate with him. He revealed that they had both arranged their situation prior to this life. He was an older soul who had stopped incarnating to earth, but he had planned with his mother to incarnate into this life to get a taste of human life again, and then die early in order to communicate back to his mother things about the spirit realm and about God that would be helpful for humanity to know. Things such as what the spirit realm was like, what earth life was about from the spiritual perspective, and what God is and what God is not. Also, how exactly spirits communicate with loved ones left behind on the physical plane.

Flying High in Spirit confirmed much of what I’ve previously studied about the afterlife and taught me even more, making the spirit realm feel so much more “real” and accessible. Now that my mother has died, I have a clearer sense of her experience in the spirit world…what Mikey calls “the Summerlands”, where most souls travel to after their death. I’m comforted by the image of my mom reuniting with my dad and her family in a celebration of her life — something that Mikey says happens in the Summerlands.

Another author who shares about the after-world is Jurgen Ziewe. He meticulously chronicles 40 years of out-of-body astral travel research in his two books titled, Multi-Dimensional Man: An Authentic Eyewitness Account of the World that Awaits Us After Death, and also Vistas of Infinity: How to Enjoy Life When You Are Dead. Ziewe shares how souls can select and change their age and appearance, and how his mother always appeared different during the dozen times he visited her. Since my mom’s death, I often wonder what age she chooses to appear with my dad.

I’m grateful for my understanding of the afterlife, and how it’s supported my grieving process. The more we study and understand about the afterlife, the more comforted we become, and the easier it is to endure the inevitable losses on earth.

Love Image - June 21, 2020 blog

Times of Change

We are in eclipse season according to astrologers…June 5, 21, and July 4-5. Eclipses represent beginnings and endings. It’s not uncommon to experience turmoil that proceeds times of change, and that is precisely what we are experiencing now on the planet…with Covid-19, George Floyd’s murder, polarizing political beliefs, etc.

As the consciousness level of the planet raises, it brings to the surface conditioned beliefs and subsequent actions that are not unifying and love based, that are not congruent with a high level of consciousness, both individually and collectively. We are in a time where the duality of 3rd Dimensional thinking (black/white; good/bad; right/wrong) is exposing negative, divisive beliefs and patterns so they can be seen and recognized as no longer working and thus in need of transformation. When Steve Dinan, founder of The Shift Network, recently discussed racism, he stated, “There is simply no way for America or humanity to move forward as a species without transforming racism at the root level. Racist beliefs and policies are directly opposed to seeing each other as sacred beings, worthy of respect. Racist beliefs and policies suppress our collective creativity and our compassion. They reduce our ability, as a species, to learn and grow. They keep us stuck in cycles of oppression that fetter the human spirit.”

These transformative times call for healing…and healing is an inside job that begins with awakening to our multitude of blind spots. For instance, if you’re not a person of color, you may be blind to the deep frustration, challenges and feelings of injustice that comes from living as a minority. White privilege is about having the privilege to not think or worry about the color of your skin when you are walking in a park or stopped for a speeding ticket.

Another significant blind spot is our identity beneath our human earth suit. There will be a time when we all gather as souls and compare what earth life was like in the various races and ethnicities that we chose to experience. Wouldn’t it be interesting and insightful if we could have this conversation while we are incarnate? We could more easily talk about the blatant and subtle injustices and frustrations without it feeling too raw and personal. We could more easily understand others point of view without our own bias filters getting in the way. Unfortunately, much of society is currently unaware of the evidence that we are souls using this body for growth and experiential purposes. But that is also changing. Bit by bit we as a species are beginning to crack out of the shell of ignorance into awareness of our transcendent nature.

We are also in a time where judging others and their beliefs seems to be coming to a head in these politically polarizing times. It’s important for all human beings to make note that you may want to be careful about who you judge because as a soul you may choose to incarnate into the very group of people that you most judge so you can learn understanding, compassion and balance. The goal is for all of us to learn that lesson while we’re here, so that we can live and operate from our true foundation of unity and love rather than our conditioned fears and beliefs that create divisions. Here is a fascinating case study that demonstrates this.

I’ve recently read two beautiful pearls of wisdom that speak to the theme that I’m writing about in this blog. They come from Suzanne Giesemann, a former US naval commander and now medium and channel. Each day, she shares a few sentences of love and insights from teachers from across the veil called Sanaya. I would encourage anyone to sign up for these free daily reminders on her website here.

Here is the first one:

Sanaya says: We ask you to examine your aspen trees. On the surface of one grove you see individual trees of varying sizes and ages, all appearing separate. Underneath what appears to be a surface—the earthly ground—lies a vast web of connections: the root system. What appears to be separate is but a web, connecting what? One living organism. The earthly ground hides this from you, yet the soil through which the living tree passes is vital to its existence.

For now, focus on the web of roots. Could you see yourselves at an energetic level, you would begin to understand why you experience so many connections and synchronicities with those you know and meet. Beneath the surface you are one organism. Think not in terms of the physical bodies. This is where you go astray. Think in terms of subtle energy … of Life Force … that which animates you. Perhaps you might call it “Love,” and you would be correct. All is One. We will continue to use analogies and lessons of love until you finally know what the heart has never forgotten. You are so very loved.

The second one is called Much Appreciated. It offers some deep wisdom and suggestions that would benefit us all:

“I can appreciate that you feel that way.”  Would this not be music to your ears from another if you were to state an opinion?  No matter how the other feels, at least you were heard.  Can you appreciate that each of the seven billion of you sees things just a bit, if not a great deal, differently?  If you can appreciate this, then apply this phrase in your interactions with others and as you read your headlines.  It does not mean you agree.  It does not mean, “You are right,” and it does not mean, “You are wrong.”  It means, “I hear you, and I understand you have a point of view.” How does it feel to be heard?  How does it feel to be appreciated?  This is an excellent step toward oneness, the field out beyond right and wrong and differing points of view.  No right.  No wrong.  Just experience. You are so very loved.

Natalie Fowler, an author, psychic, medium, (and also friend and neighbor), described the past few weeks in an interesting way. She recently wrote: “The last few weeks have felt a little like we are living in a snow globe. But maybe our whole world needed to get shook up so we can settle it back together in a new and better way? Maybe it’s true what they say: Life happens FOR us, not TO us.”

As Eckhart Tolle says, we tend to grow the most personally and spiritually on the heels of tragedy. This means individually and as a society. May we all recognize that we are in the midst of tremendous growth opportunity now, depending on how we respond to challenges during this time. Many blessings to all!

sunbeam

Freedom and Truth – a Perception Shift Away

Many months ago, I wrote an article for The Edge Magazine, a valuable resource for anyone on a journey of personal and spiritual growth and evolution. Last December’s topic of the month was on living without fear with trust in the divine. Since that seemed quite relevant to these Covid-19 times, and helping people do that is often what my work is about, I felt it appropriate to share that article here….please enjoy!

“All Suffering is due to wrong identification.” – The Buddha

The process of dissolving my deeply rooted fears probably began when I was backpacking around India as an impressionable 24 year old. I decided to work at one of Mother Theresa’s homes for the destitute and dying in Calcutta (now Kolkata). The experience of sitting with people as they died seeded a belief in me that we are not our bodies, and that our consciousness transcends this dense earth realm.

This belief eventually sprouted into an inner knowing as I encountered experiences that reinforced this truth. For example, when my girlfriend died of breast cancer 13 years ago, an evidence-based medium was able to tell me things no one would know but us. Also, as I became fascinated with past life memories, I researched numerous verified past life memories of children as well as adults who recalled past lives through hypnotic regression.

In their book, A Lawyer Presents the Evidence For the Afterlife, Victor and Wendy Zammit argue that if all of the evidence for the afterlife were put in a court of law, it would win easily and unanimously. Evidence of the afterlife reveals that we are eternal, indestructible soul beings. Although we one day will lose our body, we can never separate ourselves from the energy and consciousness that animates our body. Thus, a key premise in releasing fears is to know that you can never be harmed. From the vantage point of the body, that sounds absurd, and it is, because the body gets hurt, sick and dies. But truth is relative, and from the “more relatively true” vantage point of your “more permanent self”, you ultimately cannot be harmed, because you are energy and consciousness that comes from Oneness, and how can Oneness be harmed? The more Truth can become embedded in the belief system of the ego, which is based on the illusion of separateness and identification with our body, the more our fears begin to melt away, being replaced with a calm, inner assurance that all is well and always has been and will be.

Fears are built into the human experience. Fears come with a body that can get hurt and die. Messages of fear also come in when we’re young and we are completely dependent on outside caregivers for a sense of love, value and security. When it doesn’t happen, because and our parents are humans operating from their own issues and beliefs, subconscious fears can take root such as not being loveable, being judged as “less than”, or fear of failing, etc. We get conditioned early on to look for our sense of self through outside sources like family and friends rather than from within.

Thus, a big key in releasing subconscious fears is to identify more with the aspect of you that cannot be harmed. Freedom comes with an identity shift. When I help clients release limiting fears, I initially guide them on a deep inner journey within to connect with their Higher Self and Source energy. This is possible because no one can be separated from their Higher Self and Source energy…it simply gets covered up in the human experience. Thus hypnotherapy can be used to help de-hypnotize yourself from the source of all suffering — ego identification. From the vantage point of Source, all fears stem from false beliefs of the ego self. They feel true from the ego’s mindset, and may have become embedded into our subconscious mind’s operating system at a young age, but these beliefs are not actually true from the standpoint of a higher dimension of yourself and of Truth.

As we begin our spiritual journey of awakening out of ego identification, there becomes a trickle-down effect of releasing subtle fears that are not in alignment with our Higher Self. We as souls are challenging ourselves to allow our body/mind systems to be clear vessels for the brilliance of our true selves to shine through. As we operate and live less from our false fears and outdated programming, and more from our true selves, we are naturally guided by our own passions, gifts and strengths. We become the beings of freedom and love that we always have been and always will be.

How to Respond in This Moment in Time?

“We are no doubt at a very critical point in time. Our world hangs in balance, and a very precarious balance it is. Awakening to Reality is no longer a possibility; it is an imperative. We have sailed the ship of delusion about as far as she can carry us.” – Adyashanti, The Way of Liberation

For many people, the Coronavirus has triggered root chakra fears of safety and security from not only this life, but past lives as well. Many of us as souls have either died from plagues and epidemics in past lives or known of people who have, so it’s no wonder people are struggling.

Additionally, the stay at home order can create an environment that brings to the surface conflicts and issues within familial relationships. Any conflicts that arise in relationships always point to something within ourselves that can be healed, or shifted to a new perspective that doesn’t create conflict. The virus serves as an opportunity to point to that which is ready to be changed or healed not only within ourselves but also collectively as a society. I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing this healing in my office. Recently, I’ve seen three clients who have healed tremendous trauma in their lives, and are now in a place where they are noticing an effortless flow of feelings of love, joy and gratitude in their lives. Now that they have released their traumas, they are more easily able to allow their body/mind system to be a clear vessel for their soul to shine through and express itself. If you’re in a tough space with your emotions, know that it’s possible to feel more peace through healing work.

The virus is also pointing out lessons regarding the healing of society and the earth. For example, as the busy pace of everyday life has slowed down, the dolphins have returned to the canals in Venice, Italy. Air pollution and global CO2 levels, contributors to climate change, have been significantly reduced. People are witnessing clear blue skies in areas of China that they haven’t seen in years. People are unified in a common challenge, and it can bring out acts of love, creativity and kindness. A wonderful example of this came last Saturday. I was pulled outside by the melodic sounds of beautiful saxophone music. On our street corner was a young man sharing his amazing musical talents. More and more neighbors were being drawn outside. People passing by stopped to listen and began intermingling with others, albeit 6 feet away. Everyone was soaking in the atmosphere…listening, smiling, laughing, talking, some even dancing. In that moment in time, the young musician had lifted everyone’s spirits and created a unified feeling of bond and connection within the community.

We have purposely incarnated into this 3rd Dimension of duality during this transitional time on earth to challenge ourselves, although challenging ourselves happens to be the purpose of all incarnations. How we respond to these challenges helps to create, define and shape who we are, and can also help determine what comes our way in the future via the law karma and the law of attraction. The awakened sage Eckhart Tolle says that we tend to grow the most personally and spiritually on the heels of our greatest tragedies and challenges. Thus, the Coronavirus provides us the opportunity to decide who and what we choose to be in the face of challenges…to act like a victim or to shine as an inspiration to others.

If we’re racked with fear, there is an invitation to remember that we are actually eternal beings based in love and we can heal any repressed fear that is getting triggered within our body/mind systems so we can allow the love that we are to flow through us. This would also be a perfect time to start a gratitude journal if you are feeling fear. Our vibration raises considerably with thoughts of love, appreciation, gratitude and compassion. And it just so happens that these qualities are a natural by-product as we spiritually awaken to the truth of who and what we are. Energy flows where attention goes.

I often like to share some sources of inspiration and teaching in my blogs. Here are a few:

Gregg Braden is a scientist who bridges science and spirituality. One of the ongoing themes of his research and teaching is that we are interconnected, and our thoughts affect not only our body’s immune system and vitality, but also the well being of the planet. Joining a group meditation to heal the planet does far more than we can know and currently understand for not only ourselves but also our earth home.

Alan Pritz, meditation teacher and author, shares specifically how people can serve as channels for divine healing through scientific prayer in this article.

The Community for Higher Consciousness is a group in the Twin Cities area dedicated to supporting people to be their best selves while transitioning into higher consciousness in order to help themselves and also the planet.

Finally, The Shift Network offers online courses and classes to support the growth and transformation for people on all levels…physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

We are all growing and evolving on a soul level whether we’re aware of it or not. But it goes so much more smoothly when we are conscious and deliberate about it.

Many blessings to you!

 

Spiritual Perspectives on Coronavirus

“Death is absolutely safe!” — Ram Dass

Some thoughts dropped into me as I listened to a client discuss her fears surrounding the Coronavirus… fears that are reflective of what many people are feeling these days, as stores are being sold out on many items such as disinfectants and toilet paper.

Fears can be used as tools to awaken. For instance, fears are designed to protect us. There is certainly a human part of us that needs and wants protection, and I can understand and empathize that this virus can be scary for many people. But if your goal is personal and spiritual awakening, the Coronaviris  provides an invitation to identify with the part of you that doesn’t need protection, that doesn’t die, that’s eternal and indestructible, that’s outside of time and space. And if you’re into a deeper level of awakening beyond the fact that we are soul beings, you can ask the questions, ‘”What part of us doesn’t come and go?, What part of our awareness is always anchored in the here and now, even before and after death?” We all ultimately come from one consciousness….divided into trillions of diverse individual perspectives.

I remember one of my teachers saying, “Death for most of us will be the single most joyous experience of our lives.” Indeed, as I research the afterlife more, I personally am looking forward to when and where there is no death, decay, disease, no need for money, no aging…where you mostly learn and grow, have reunions, follow your own interests, and you can travel at the speed of a thought.  A great book which provides evidence and glimpses into the afterlife is called The Joy of Dying, by Roberta Grimes, a lawyer and avid afterlife researcher. Another good book by a lawyer is called A Lawyer Presents the Evidence for the Afterlife, by Victor Zammit. He maintains that if evidence of the afterlife were presented in a court of law, it would win easily and unanimously.

Our ego self (which contains our fears, and which we’re mostly identified with in this life) doesn’t choose when we die…a higher, unconscious part of us does. We’ll leave this earth when it’s the right and perfect time for us to do so, so we don’t have to worry much about it. For instance, I have a friend who has tried to kill himself six times, to no avail. Doctors have said on more than one occasion that they don’t know how he’s still alive. On the other hand, I had a girlfriend die of breast cancer who wanted so badly to live. Our soul self chooses when we leave this earth realm.

When I shared some of these sentiments with my client, she said people need to hear this message because the antidote to fear is in it.

I’m sharing one spiritual perspective on it. Lately, I’ve read a few others worth reading. One is a great article called What is the Spiritual Perspective on Coronavirus?, by Ulla Sarmiento. It gives reassuring tips and perspectives to deal with the virus, and discusses what the virus teaches us. It points out that there are no sides to this virus, and all people and countries are unified in a vested interest in sharing how to best combat it. The earth is moving out of 3rd dimension energy which is based in separation, and into 4th dimensional energy, which is based in connectivity.

Another insightful article is by Joan Pancoe, a mystic and astrologer. She discusses, in her typical humorous way, beneficial insights, perspectives and activities to help calm the fear-based hysteria from the virus.

 

 

Awakening to Our Soul’s Purpose

Several months ago, I wrote an article for The Edge Magazine. The Edge is a free local magazine and a valuable resource for anyone on their journey of personal and spiritual growth and expansion. Each month, The Edge Magazine features a new topic. Last September’s topic was about how to discover our soul’s purpose. Since helping people do that is often what my work is about, I wrote on this theme. It’s also an article that helps people understand a bit more about the process of past life regression…a practice that is easily misunderstood until you actually experience it firsthand. Below is my article….please enjoy!

An effective way of finding your soul’s purpose is to directly connect with your soul self. This is not as difficult as most people would think because you already are your soul self. One day you won’t be your body, but try as you might, you can’t ever NOT BE your soul self…the part of you that survives all of your lifetimes.

I use the modality of past life and life-between-lives regression to help people connect with one’s soul self. It provides a step-by-step process to quiet the analytical thinking mind and go within to make a more “solid” connection to that which you already are. When your mind is like a blank canvas, and you have set the intention to gain insight into your soul’s purpose, you have created a great foundation and opportunity to receive what you are requesting.

Past life regression can be viewed as a guided journey to “disidentify” with your present body/mind system, assume a different body/mind personality, and finally “disidentify” with them both when the past life comes to an end. When this happens, you begin to take on the perspective of the soul self which transcends all lives. Typically you are shown a life that provides the wisdom, insight and clarity to help you heal, grow and awaken. Why does this happen? Because, as one of my client’s guides said, “Just as the body’s instinct is to breathe, the soul’s instinct is to grow and evolve.” Therefore, as you go within, you often get precisely what you need to move forward in your life, or gain clarity on your present life’s purpose if it is requested.

For example, when one of my clients recently did a past life regression to better understand her soul’s purpose for this life, she was shown a life in which the person she had the deepest connection with, her mother, had died of a disease when she was 8 years old. The loss of her mother was such a blow to her that it caused her to guard her heart for the rest of her life. Although she married a loving husband, she could not fully take in his love and held a bit back from fully loving her family. When that life was over, she reunited with her mother’s soul essence and reviewed that life. She regretted the subconscious decision to hold back from fully loving in that life due to the subconscious fear of getting hurt, and realized that she was doing the same thing in this life ever since her parents separated around the age of 6, when she felt as if she lost a connection with them both. She realized that one of her soul’s purposes in this life was to learn to deal with loss in a healthy, awakened way, rather than in a way that shut her down. Since then, she has been healing her present life emotional wounds, making deeper connections in her relationships, and is helping others do the same by viewing loss as a temporary challenge.

During life-between-lives sessions, people spend the majority of their sessions in the spirit realm connecting with guides at an even higher vibration level. While there, I’ve noticed several themes when people are seeking answers regarding their soul’s purpose. They often discover their soul’s purpose to be about being proactive in creating a life that gives them the most satisfaction…which, from that high level of consciousness, is usually about creating a life that involves helping others or contributing to society in a way that combines their own interests, gifts and strengths. I’ve also noticed that people often discover their purpose to be about becoming deeply present with life, fully appreciating people, pets, sunsets, a cup of tea, etc., rather than being lost in their mind’s chatter, or else operating from their fears and concerns which no longer seem valid from the vantage point of the soul which cannot be hurt. Finally, people deeply understand that their lives will be most satisfying if they can allow themselves to express the highest level of love and connection while in the physical form. We often discover that we’ve held ourselves back in various ways from these expressions in some of our other lives due to subtle fears in the human experience. Past life regression and life-between-lives is all about becoming aware of our learned subconscious patterns that no longer benefit us.

The theme of inner journey work is: “As you go within, you nearly always get what you are searching for.” Therefore, if you’re interested in your soul’s purpose, go within to connect with that which you already are.