What is a Past Life Regression?

Our Answers Lie Within Us

We are on the threshold of a new paradigm. More and more people are beginning to understand and identify ourselves as multi-dimensional beings. I was recently invited to speak at my alma mater, Saint Olaf College, by some students who were interested in the work I do. I spoke for an hour about past life regression. Ten years ago, I was also invited to speak there about my work, but past life regression was never mentioned because it was too  “outside the box.” I was delighted to witness the expansion of people’s beliefs systems. I explained that although we are human beings, but we are also spiritual beings using a body. This means that as we go deep within, we can gain a respite from the busy world of our lives and of our minds. As we go deeper, we tune into a built-in inner guidance system that is invested in our growth and evolution. Deep peace and clarity can be experienced, as well as answers and solutions to long standing problems. Here’s a case example that demonstrates this:

One of my clients (I’ll call her Shelly) was curious about experiencing a past life regression and decided to focus on a feeling of anxiety that was always beneath the surface, particularly in large crowds. She had a vague fear of not trusting people and was often on edge, even at home, as though an intruder might break in. She also had a phobia of having anything around her neck.

As she allowed her consciousness to go deep within, she became aware of a life of an African male slave brought to America on a ship, feeling confused, scared and angry. Here are a few descriptive excerpts from the session: “Fields… cotton…I bond with others, but feel alone. We don’t laugh…always a sadness…I run away…there’s overwhelming fear, I’m going to be caught. I’m running as fast as I can go…starting to hear dogs…run through a stream…feet cut…they’re closer…caught me…whip me…going to hang me. I leave the body just before they hang me…I watch it from above…I’m free…”

In traumatic deaths, the soul often leaves before the body is actually dead. As we progressed further into the freedom of the soul realm, we released the fear and confusion that was left over from that life and replaced it with energy of the soul — happiness, playfulness and joy — the part that was lost when the fear energy covered it up. Because we are all energy beings, dense, fear-based energy can become like a sticky residue on our physical, mental and emotional energy bodies, particularly after traumatic deaths, and thus affect the current incarnation. During a session, a person’s inner guidance will typically show them a life that is most impacting this life. Several weeks after the session, Shelly emailed this message:

“It wasn’t until after the session that I really realized how anxious I was. Immediately after the session I felt different, lighter, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I couldn’t believe how great and relaxed I felt! I was curious to see if the change was permanent or if my anxiety would slowly creep back, but it never did. After a week or two, I realized looking back that I had been anxious all the time, not just in ‘certain situations’. I had never felt as relaxed as I did after the session, nor for that long a period of time. What turned out being something I wanted to do out of curiosity and for fun, ended up being the most positive life changing experience and the best money I’d ever spent!”

The healing part of the session occurs in the peace and clarity of the soul realm. But it is important to realize that this is actually a higher dimension of ourselves. We are multi-dimensional beings, so an aspect of us is already steeping in what we are looking for at a conscious and subconscious level, namely deep peace, love and clarity. Within ourselves lie tremendous resources for insights, releasing of limiting feelings and beliefs, and discovering the truth of our being. Once we have experienced it, we know it. But it’s easy to forget in this dense physical reality…the veil is strong, but certainly is getting thinner. We all need gentle reminders of our inner resources.

A Day of Growth and Evolution

image.png
I am excited to share that CollageX 2022 has been scheduled for March 19th from 9am to 6pm and I am one of the featured practitioners. I will be speaking about the benefits of past life regression, and what I have learned about our soul’s journey after guiding more than 4,000 past life regressions over the past 20 years. CollageX is put on by Metamorphosis Connections, a holistic and metaphysical community dedicated to help people grow, heal, evolve and expand in consciousness.The CollageX event last fall was a huge success. If you did not attend this special event last year, here are some details about this upcoming event:
Imagine a day filled with discovery, motivation, and inspiration as you travel with a like-minded band of explorers through a collage of holistic and metaphysical experiences. Better yet, what if you could design your day with specific sessions and practitioners that speak to your current journey and who are best equipped to help you map out your next adventure?CollageX returns to Minneapolis on March 19th at the historic Masonic Heritage Center in Bloomington, MN.  This curated holistic and metaphysical experience provides a day full of opportunity, expansion, celebration, and camaraderie. Featuring four different experiences each hour, a catered lunch, and a happy hour finale, we invite you to design the perfect day, just for you. Experience a group past life regression, activate your inner Earthworker, learn to access your multidimensional self, connect to your inner mystic,   discover the magic of theta healing, attend a psychic gallery, visit the Akashic Hall of Records, participate in an energy release with essential oils …the options are extraordinary.Register before February 26th to take advantage of the $149 Early Bird pricing.Click the link to explore CollageX 2022 www.CollageXmn.com.

I hope to see you there! Feel free to forward this blog to anyone you know who may be interested in this gathering of like-minded souls.

From My Heart to Yours

Warm Holiday Greetings from my heart to yours! I hope that the end of year festivities have an opportunity to provide some inner reflection, even in the midst of stress that the season may bring for some.

My sincerest wish for everyone is that they continue to further their unique path of growth and evolvement, as that as what we are doing here. Because in doing so, we begin to further wake up to who and what we truly are while living this human life. And the further we awaken, becoming more steeped in this higher dimensional Truth of ourselves, you’ll notice all sorts of “pleasant” trickle-down effects that happen as a result.

To name a few, you begin to feel an overall sense of well being that you know deep down is more real than even the strife, challenges and chaos around you…the thoughts, feelings, fears and beliefs from past programming and conditioning that used to hold you back are now fully seen through and no longer believed, and therefore no longer limit you…you no longer are identified with the mind’s negative messages, and may even be amused by them because they are so ridiculously untrue!…you become the love and compassion that you are at your core, as you sense the interconnection of all of life beneath the surface…you feel the freedom of not really needing anything from anyone outside of yourself. Your needs become elevated to preferences. Instead of looking to attain something from outside of you, you feel a desire to give, whether it be a small gift, an act of kindness, a complimentary word or a silent acknowledgement of a person’s divine Self.

These are just a few positive side effects, of course, so “evolving and awakening” is worth looking into if you’re wondering what to do with your life. And, truth be told, that’s what we’re doing here anyway, whether we’re conscious of this or not. But it moves along much faster as we become more conscious and deliberate on our life’s journey.

A powerful exercise for growth is to spend a few minutes to center yourself and quiet your mind. Then ask your angels and guides (of which you have several) to give you a thought, insight and perspective that would most give you joy and align you with your higher self. Then be watchful over the next few minutes, or even the next few days…the answers may come through a chance conversation with a friend, or a podcast, or an article you come across.

Warmest wishes to you and your continued unique journey of growth and awaking…a journey which we all share together…and the good news is that life generally gets much easier and more enjoyable the further along the growth path we go, even if it feels like two steps forward, a step back, two steps forward again, etc. That is the growth process.

In closing, here is an Asatoma prayer that a friend shared with me:

Lead me from the unreal to real

Lead me from darkness to light

Lead me from time-bound consciousness

To the timeless state of being that I am

-from the Upanishads

sunbeam

Our Five Natural Emotions

“Giving and receiving love” – As wonderful and simple as it sounds, this is not always an easy thing to do in this human experience. I think that one of our purposes here as souls is to learn how to freely do this. Yet in order to do this, we have to overcome a lot of our own baggage and unresolved issues. Also, many people have not been modeled how to give and receive love, or how to deal with many of our emotions in the healthiest way. I was thinking about this many years ago when I came across an excerpt about this topic in Book 3 of Neil Donald Walsch’s book series, Conversations with God.

The Conversations with God series was one of the first books that propelled me forward on my personal and spiritual growth journey in the mid-to-late 90’s. When I read it, I could feel the top of my head tingle – a sign that it was ringing true to my Higher Self. I would recommend that book series, beginning with book 1, to anyone on their personal or spiritual growth path.

I remember sharing the book with others, and they either loved it or dismissed it, saying, “How could anyone have a conversation with God?” I maintained that he channeled it from some higher source, and even if you read it as fiction, it was still permeated with logic, reason, wisdom and pure love and acceptance, and it flowed in such a poetic way. I have since realized that when the student is ready, the teaching appears.

Here is an excerpt from book 3 of the series about our five natural emotions. The first and last few paragraphs I have summarized. Enjoy!

Dr. Elisa Kubler-Ross maintains that the basis of all our emotions stem from the “five natural emotions”: Grief, anger, envy, fear and love. (At a still deeper level, grief, anger and envy as based out of fear, thus leaving fear and love as the great polarity. Ultimately, all of our feelings, thoughts, choices and actions are sponsored by and based in love or fear.)

Unfortunately, we have imprisoned our five natural emotions, repressing them and turning them into very unnatural emotions which, in turn, bring us much unhappiness. The model of behaviors for centuries on this planet has been: do not “indulge” your emotions. If you’re feeling grief, get over it; if you’re feeling angry, stuff it; if you’re feeling envious, be ashamed of it; if you’re feeling fear, rise above it; if you’re feeling love, control it, limit it, wait with it, run from it – do whatever you have to do to stop expressing it, full out, right here, right now.

It is time to set ourselves free. We have been living too long in a prison of our own devise. It is time to set our “Holy Selves” free.

Grief is a natural emotion. It’s that part of you which allows you to say goodbye when you don’t want to say goodbye; to express- push out, propel- the sadness within you at the experience of any kind of loss. It could be the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a contact lens.

When you are allowed to express your grief, you get rid of it. Children who are allowed to be sad when they are sad feel very healthy about sadness when they are adults, and therefore usually move through their sadness very quickly.

Children who are told, “There, there, don’t cry,” have a hard time crying as adults. After all, they’ve been told all their life not to do that. So they repress their grief.

Grief that is continually repressed becomes chronic depression, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of chronic depression. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

Anger is a natural emotion. It is the tool you have which allows you to say, “No thank you.” It does not have to be abusive, and it never has to be damaging to another.

When children are allowed to express their anger, they bring a very healthy attitude about it to their adult years, and therefore usually move through their anger very quickly.

Children who are made to feel that their anger is not okay- that it is wrong to express it, and, in fact, that they shouldn’t even experience it-will have a difficult time appropriately dealing with their anger as adults.

Anger that is continually repressed becomes rage, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of rage. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

Envy is a natural emotion. It is the emotion that makes five-year-old wish he could reach the doorknob the way his sister can- or ride that bike. Envy is the natural emotion that makes you want to do it again; to try harder; to continue striving until you succeed. It is very healthy to be envious, very natural. When children are allowed to express envy, they bring a very healthy attitude about it to their adult years, and therefore usually move through their envy very quickly.

Children who are made to feel the envy is not okay- that it is wrong to express it, and, in fact, that they shouldn’t even experience it- will have a difficult time appropriately dealing with their envy as adults.

Envy that is continually repressed becomes jealousy, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of jealously. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

Fear is a natural emotion. All babies are born with only two fears; the fear of falling, and the fear of loud noises. All other fears are learned responses, brought to the child by its environment, taught to the child by its parents. The purpose of natural fear is to build in a bit of caution. Caution is a tool that helps keep the body alive. It is an outgrowth of love. Love of Self.

Children who are made to feel that fear is not okay- that it is wrong to express it, and, in fact, that they shouldn’t even experience it-will have a difficult time appropriately dealing with their fear as adults.

Fear that is continually repressed becomes panic, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of panic. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

Love is a natural emotion. When it is allowed to be expressed, and received, by a child, normally and naturally, without limitation or condition, inhibition or embarrassment, it does not require anything more. For the job of love expressed and received in this way is sufficient until itself. Yet love which has been condition, limited, warped by rules and regulations, rituals and restrictions, controlled, manipulated, and withheld, becomes unnatural.

Children who are made to feel that their natural love is not okay-that it is wrong to express it, and, in fact, that they shouldn’t even experience it-will have a difficult time appropriately dealing with love as adults.

Love that is continually repressed becomes possessiveness, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of possessiveness. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

And so it is that the natural emotions, when repressed, produce unnatural reactions and responses. And most natural emotions are repressed in most people. Yet these are our friends. These are our gifts. These are our divine tools, with which to craft our experience. We are given these tools at birth. They are to help us negotiate life.

We have been living too long in a prison of our own devise. It is time to set ourselves, our “Holy Selves” free.

What is a Past Life Regression?

Using Past Life Regression to Find Your True Self

Past life regression is one of the most potent ways to connect to the higher, wiser part of yourself in order to resolve issues or move through stuck periods in your life. We become so focused on the worries and stress of life that we rarely connect with the quiet, still witness behind the worries. We become hypnotized into identifying with the continual swirl of thoughts in our mind, rather than on the deep presence that can observe those thoughts. During a past life regression, you become that presence. Then the Buddha’s words become clearer, “All suffering is due to wrong identification.”

It is natural to be skeptical about past life regression when viewed from an ordinary ego-identified level of consciousness. Yet what is often overlooked in nearly every moment of daily living is that ‘you’ are the energy and consciousness that animates the body, and as such, that ‘you’ is eternal and indestructible. For most people, that truth may remain only as an intellectual concept until they die. So if an aspect of yourself is infinite now, then it makes sense that you can begin to ‘tune into’ or resonate with that ‘truer’ self. It’s simply a matter of identifying more with the part of you which is the constant, non-fluctuating self. An effective way to access that ‘self’ is to go within, closing off the relative world of time and matter. This leads to becoming focused in the present moment.  Hypnosis provides a quick and powerful means to accomplish this because it deeply relaxes the body and quiets the mind the deeper you go into trance. A gulf begins to grow between the peaceful presence/awareness of ‘you’ and your thoughts. It becomes easier to identify yourself as the awake and aware ‘witness’ of your thoughts rather than being sucked into the mind’s incessant chatter. In this state of stillness, you can set the intention to see other lives you have experienced.

Past life regression sheds light on your soul’s intention of using your life for growth and evolution. Here’s how it works: As you surrender to whatever your unconscious mind reveals, an impression of another lifetime will emerge. It’s important to trust the process and permit the story to develop. It will ultimately reveal something profoundly beneficial for you. If you try in any way to consciously direct the images that come, it will block the process. Typically a previous life will mirror a deep issue that you’re dealing with in this life, even unconsciously. These mental impressions can be interpreted either as a past life or a symbolic metaphor, like a dream image. After the death scene, you can reflect on how you lived that life from the viewpoint of the eternal soul aspect of yourself. Often the strongest healing part of the session comes when you experience the deep peace, freedom and insights after the human drama. You gain a sense of how you wish you had gone through that life. Perhaps you lived it governed by small fears that held you back in various ways. From the perspective of ‘now time’, outside of time/space, you can ‘re-script’ that life by making different decisions about how you would have wanted to live that life, much like lucid dreaming. You can create a life where you consciously allow the freedom, appreciation, joy and love of your soul self to shine through, unimpeded by subtle, fear-based mind programs and conditioning that are common in the human experience. You not only create that empowered life but feel in your body and mind what it’s like to live in this awakened manner.

At times your higher mind may show you a past life in which you’ve known deep wisdom and strength if your current life lacks these qualities. You’ll be given that life to see so you can merge the powerful love-based qualities of that life with your current one. It all comes from an elevated level of consciousness that corresponds with ‘tuning into’ a higher dimension/vibration aspect of yourself, namely the part that is animating you right now.

A recent, typical example was a woman who struggled with anxiety. She experienced her past life as a woman of high status, forced to keep up appearances in an uptight, rigid society. She was afraid to express her true feelings while trying to please others. Her deep concern over other’s opinions held her back from fully living life, which caused her to feel alone. She was then shown a second life as a woman living in a poor village who was deeply connected to the entire community. During harvest time, everyone worked together, forming genuine bonds without any pretenses. She felt what it was like to be her true self without concern of appearances, and felt the exhilaration of experiencing authentic human relationships. In the time between lives, she could see how the first life mirrored her current life, while the second life revealed a way to live in which fears were replaced with the excitement and freedom of forming heartfelt connections with others. She saw that she had a choice about which way she was going to live this life, and how, up until now, she had been living a fear-based life, overly concerned with other’s opinions. Thus, at a subconscious level, she was able to shift the perspective that held her back in life. Past life regression not only revealed her soul lesson, but also allowed her to fully feel what it’s like to ‘get’ that lesson and live without the subtle fears that blocked and limited her. Because this all occurred at a deep subconscious level, it had a powerful and lasting effect. Over a year later she shared that the session had been quite impactful for her. It’s not uncommon to experience noticeable results in one session.

We are multi-dimensional beings. We have a body, yet at a deeper level of relative truth, we are also the soul essence that animates our body. At the deepest, ultimate level of truth, we all come from the one energy source that animates all life, and from which souls emerge. As humans, we live life as unique, individual ocean waves that forgot that our true essence is the ocean itself. Past life regression is an inward route to gain an experiential glimpse of these deeper levels of your being with heightened clarity. Life trials come and go, and so do lifetimes, but what remains? You do. Past life therapy tunes you into this constant aware presence of ‘you’ that transcends all earthly dramas.

Overcoming the Deep Grip of Shame

I’m sharing a case example of a client with her permission (I’ll call her Mary) because her experience involves a common human experience…shame. Mary was not even aware that she was carrying shame, and she didn’t come to her session with a clear issue to work on. She wanted to do a past life regression. It’s helpful with past life regressions to make a statement of intent for the inner journey, even if you don’t know what you want to work on. So in Mary’s case, her intent for the session was a good one given that she didn’t have an issue to work on. It was: “To become aware of patterns, behaviors and beliefs that are keeping me from growing, learning life lessons, and spiritual growth.”

During the regression to her past life, Mary saw herself as a young boy in his very early years growing up without a father. Then, around the age of 6, he also lost his mother. Living in a rural village, he was cared for only by various “volunteers” from the village who did it out of obligation, which he could sense. He never developed a strong bond with anyone and felt alone and isolated early on in life, feeling ashamed about not having a family like other kids. As the years passed, he grew into a quiet, gruff, lonely man who never had a relationship and whose only job was the monotonous, laborious job of clearing rocks from fields. His only entertainment was drinking in a pub, usually by himself, listening to the stories of other people’s lives. “There’s laughter and joy, but I don’t feel it. I wish I did. I feel sad when I leave the pub.” He lived alone, and then ultimately died alone.

After the life was over, after he moved into the higher consciousness of the soul realm, Mary remarked, “It was a sad, lonely, stuck life from the start, with too much shame to even seek help when I was young.” It was clearly evident how the early shame from not having a family expanded into a growing, dark cloud of isolation and loneliness that greatly impacted his view of himself and his experience of life. Mary then understood the lesson of that life: “To realize that I am worth being helped and saved, and it takes courage to take that step. I had to let go of the shame I held.” She then saw and felt the joy, peace, freedom, strength and empowerment that would have come, and does come, from releasing shame. After the regression experience was over, it became clear (as always) that she had received from her higher self/higher guidance precisely what she asked for in her statement of intent — shame was what she needed to release in her present life as well.

It might be more accurate to say that shame isn’t so much “released” as seen through and no longer believed, thus the energy of it dissipates. Shame is a deep-seated belief of lack about who you are…it cannot be easily released from the logical mind, so the antidote is to go to a higher level of consciousness, where it can be seen through. Albert Einstein suggested you cannot solve a problem from the same level of consciousness that created it, but you can at a higher level. Shame does not make sense from the vantage point of the soul. So, in her session,  while immersed in the higher dimension of her soul self, Mary experienced the expanded vibrations of her truer “unconditioned Self”, free of the programming and conditioning of her past life and also this present life that contributed to her shame, and therefore she experienced the freedom and clarity that comes from being harmoniously grounded in the truth of her real eternal Self.

Mary’s higher self had showed her that particular past life and its lessons so that she could apply it to this life. But sometimes releasing the sticky beliefs of shame can be a challenge back on earth, and this was the case with Mary. She reported that after the session, heavy, negative feelings began to surface which she soothed by eating sugary foods. I explained that when you are in a higher vibration state of the soul, you are in pure freedom, and freedom calls anything to the surface which is not free. So when you come back to your earth life, negative feelings, thoughts and beliefs such as shame can rise to the surface if and when they are ripe and ready to be released from your body/mind system. We carry much of this toxic thought-form energy in the cells of our body. Keep in mind that this negative thought-form energy often gets passed down through the generations like a virus, so when you heal it, you are also helping to clean up mass consciousness from many generations. It is interesting to note that those negative feelings and beliefs of shame are low vibration and they want to be fed low vibration food like processed sugar and fast food, etc. The energy of shame doesn’t quite like fresh pressed juice and smoothies nearly as much. A by-product of healing the unconscious shame patterns that have been passed down through the generations is that it feels so much easier and more natural to eat healthier.

I explained that the past life session was all about pointing out what she needed to do, because she asked for it in her statement of intent. So Mary came back when she was ready to begin the process of releasing the thought-form energy of negative feelings and beliefs from the traumas and challenging experiences from the early years of her present life. We released that limiting thought-form energy from the cells of her body and subconscious mind with the Emotional Healing session. What I’ve found is that a person usually needs between 1 and 3 sessions…each session is like releasing a layer…the biggest layer is always the first session, and then after that if necessary we can do a 90-minute reinforcing session after a few weeks or months, even over the phone if necessary.

In Mary’s case, she only needed one session to release a large layer of shame. A couple weeks after her present-life Emotional Healing session, Mary wrote to me that her session had been a profound cathartic healing, and she felt so much lighter. Some repressed negative emotions would occasionally arise, but they were not overwhelming or frightening and she was easily able to let them go as they came up. Her chiropractor was even amazed saying that her body was checking completely different after her session.

This is a common example of how a past life regression and the Emotional Healing session can work powerfully and effectively together to help a person leap forward in their personal and spiritual evolution. The emotional healing session may sound scary and difficult because, after all, who wants to look at a swamp of negative feelings? But what keeps it stuck is subtly avoiding it, and the keys to release it involve giving it your full attention for a few minutes in a safe space. Then you will feel much lighter after the session. It is very rewarding. People tend to see, feel and experience noticeable results after each session.

I am reminded of Paramahansa Yogananda’s quote: “As you heal yourself, you do your part in healing the world.” Everyone benefits from your healing…from loved ones to strangers to even your ancestral generational line. You will also find it easier to love people, especially those close to you, because the repressed emotions within you which they previously triggered have now been dissipated. And you will experience that this is a much more free and harmonious way to live!

The Blessing of Conscious and Unconscious Relationships

One of my favorite teachers of spiritual awakening is local sage Leonard Jacobson. He has a way of eloquently articulating wisdom and Truth that has greatly benefited me and so many others. He recently wrote a short article called The Blessing of Conscious and Unconscious Relationships. It so succinctly and accurately explains the dynamics in relationships that I wanted to share it with everyone here. Please enjoy Leonard’s life-changing wisdom!

The Blessing of Conscious and Unconscious Relationships

“There are two kinds of relationship. The first is a dysfunctional and unconscious relationship, based in the past and future. The second is a conscious relationship based in the present moment.

When a relationship is based in the past, we are looking to our partner to fulfill needs that were not met in childhood by our parents. Our mother and father were not present for us in the way we needed them to be.

As a result, we did not feel loved and accepted in a way that made us feel safe, and so to varying degrees, we developed limiting beliefs that now affect every aspect of our lives and our relationships.

These beliefs include: I am not loved, I am not good enough, I am not accepted, there is no one here for me, I am unworthy, I am alone, I am abandoned, I have to repress my feelings, I don’t count, I can’t ask for what I want, I have to please others, just to name a few.

These beliefs are associated with very painful feelings that we learn to repress. We then embark upon a journey to find someone who will be here for us and who will meet that unfilled need to be loved, accepted and acknowledged.

The problem is that life manifests as a reflection of our inner world, so that we attract people into our lives who match those limiting beliefs.

We attract people into our lives who are not loving or accepting, and so the pain of living in a world where no one is truly present with us continues. If we attract a partner who is loving and accepting, we cannot really feel it or allow it in, because it contradicts our deeper beliefs.

In an unconscious relationship, our repressed emotions are constantly being triggered, and we project the blame onto our partner, when what is really happening is that our partner is simply triggering feelings repressed within us from our past.

In an unconscious relationship, we are lost in our story and we are trying to get our partner to enter our story to make it better.

Some typical issues that arise in an unconscious relationship are blame, guilt, expectation and resentment. In an unconscious relationship, control patterns and judgment are often a source of conflict.

An unconscious relationship is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact I recommend it! It gives us the opportunity to look into the mirror that is the relationship, and bring consciousness to all the unconscious aspects of ourselves, all the unhealed emotional wounds and all those limiting beliefs still with us from childhood.

This kind of relationship gives us the opportunity to witness certain aspects of our personality, which we would prefer to ignore, deny or project onto our partner. It gives us the opportunity to be observant of our control patterns and judgments.

How present are you with your partner? How do you express love? Are you generous, grateful, compassionate and supportive? Are you judgmental and controlling?

Are you filled with expectations that you do not clearly express, and when those expectations are not met, do you become resentful? When you are hurt, do you become angry or do you withdraw? How do you express your anger? Are you abusive? Are you a victim?

These are just some of the issues and questions that must be addressed and brought to consciousness if you want to move from a dysfunctional relationship to a conscious relationship.

In a conscious relationship, we are fundamentally present.

We have been through a process of healing the past. We have released ourselves from those limiting beliefs from childhood and we have emptied those reservoirs of emotions that were repressed within us.

We have embraced responsibility for ourselves at every level. We feel whole and complete within ourselves and we do not need our partner to complete us or make us feel safe and secure.

We no longer need our partner to be here for us, but rather we want our partner to be here with us.

Just to change one simple word from ‘for’ to ‘with’ radically transforms the relationship. In a conscious relationship, both parties are empowered from within and are not seeking to have power or control over the other. In a conscious relationship, communication is clear and direct and honest.

A conscious relationship does not have to be perfect. It is OK to make mistakes as long as both parties to the relationship are willing to take responsibility for whatever is arising within them. In fact, it is in making mistakes or lapsing into unconsciousness that affords us with the opportunity for greater consciousness, provided we are willing and able to look into the mirror that is the relationship and to own, acknowledge and confess any unconscious aspect of ourselves we see reflected there.

At the deepest level, the real gift we bring to each other is the gift of Presence.

When you are present you are, by your very nature, loving, accepting, compassionate, generous, grateful and allowing. When you are present, you are without judgment. The more that Presence is the foundation of your relationship, the more fulfilling, joyful and uncomplicated it will be.

In a conscious relationship, we relate to each other in the moment and do not seek comfort from the idea that someone will be there to make us feel safe in one year or five years or for a lifetime. In truth there is only NOW! When we come to terms with that simple truth, it will open us into a life of freedom, truth and love.

A conscious relationship is a great blessing. It provides you with a companion with whom you can share a loving life. An unconscious relationship is also a great blessing. It provides you with a remarkable opportunity to wake up out of your unconsciousness.”

Love Image - June 21, 2020 blog

The Evolution of Humanity

“The difference between duality consciousness and unity consciousness is profound. In the former, you appear to be separate from all others, and clashing is nigh unto inevitable. In the latter, you experience total connection. You do not think about the connection, for then you are still in duality. Nay, you shift your perspective to the experience of oneness. What does this feel like? We could describe it in a thousand words and you still would not know. But the soul knows. The soul remembers. Ask within to know oneness while sitting quietly. And then, go there often, most especially when you experience strife within the duality. This is the beauty of awakening. You are so very loved.” – Sanaya, channeled through Suzanne Giesemann

I would encourage anyone on the path of spiritual awakening to sign up for these free daily pearls of channeled wisdom from Suzanne Giesemann. They can help re-align your perspective from human to soul, and from bondage to liberation.

Since we are multi-dimensional beings, we have access to different lenses to view life from. It is common and natural to view life from the human perspective that is often based in the fear of losing something…another person or pet, health, life, money, success, admiration, etc. This is natural because this human realm is the realm of loss. Yet behind the scenes is another part of you that is eternal, free of loss and based in love. Humanity is just on the verge of awakening to the soul part of us that is animating our bodies. A multitude of books about the soul are emerging, such as A Lawyer Presents the Evidence of the Afterlife by Victor Zammit. There is now even a popular Netflix series called Surviving Death. When we begin to identify more with the soul aspect of ourselves, it will be the perception shift that brings freedom. One part of us experiences hurt and death, while the other part of us cannot die and is based in love. And we cannot separate ourselves from this part of us.

One way to experience the transcendent part of us is through past life regression. Probably the greatest attribute of one of these sessions is that it ultimately allows a person to experience what it is like to be outside of the programming and conditioning of the human mind, take on new perspectives from a different human role, and then ultimately be free of the human mindset altogether after the life is over. At that point in the session, the deeper you go into the spiritual realm, the more you’ll experience the soul’s perspective that is based in love and is interested in growth and evolution.

One part of us is mostly based in fear and lack, while the other, more permanent part of us, is based in love, peace and a freedom which lacks nothing. This part of us seeks to be the source of so much for others…a source of compassion, comfort, love and strength. To be able to express this in human form is what feels the most harmonious to the soul.

What if you absolutely knew you were role-playing your life? Like a lucid dream in which you could be awake while living in the role that you’re playing? That is what life feels like during the part of the regression experience where you connect to your soul self. You gain the understanding that you can choose how you go through life, how you respond to challenges and how you relate to others. This choice then often helps to create what comes back to you via the law of attraction. What you put out in the world tends to come back to you.

I will close with another quote from Sanaya, the group of wise spiritual beings channeled by Suzanne Giesemann:

“Would you ask the deep life questions if one you love had not passed? Would you wonder about the purpose of life, the eternality of it if you did not feel a longing to be with them for eternity? There is purpose in the brevity of the physical life. Brevity, of course, is a relative thing, for there is a psychological aspect to time. At times it seems to drag, and yet, when one you love is gone, it can seem an eternity until you will see them again. You are all eternal. You will see each other again, but the absence of seeing, for now, serves a purpose. It nudges you to discover the purpose of being. We could tell you what that is, but that would be cheating you out of the experience of experiencing your purpose. And so, there is great purpose in our silence. There is great purpose in birth and death in this parenthesis in eternity. Ask the questions. Experience the answer, Love. You are This.”

A New Understanding of Trauma that Changes Everything

In a way, human life is about accumulating traumas which in turn create subtle fear-based beliefs that govern our lives until we awaken to them and realize we can heal and release these fears and limiting beliefs. We can heal them because they are based in the past, and the past no longer exists. Why does something that doesn’t exist still affect us? Because the traumatic “past” is stored in our body and subconscious mind.

We can become aware of the trauma blocks in the body and let them go when we become conscious and aware of them. We usually begin to become aware of them when they get in our way, like when we have anxiety about getting too close to someone we love, or about taking a test and making a mistake. We become aware of our limiting beliefs and fears when they create havoc in our life. Carl Jung once said about healing: “Healing is about making conscious that which is unconscious.”

Both my wife Maggie and I help people heal from past traumas, although we use different modalities. She uses Quantum Neuro Reset Therapy (QNRT), while I use a body-based hypnotherapy technique which I call the Emotional Healing and Awakening Session, which is about releasing the effects of traumas from the body and subconscious mind while connecting to the wisdom of your soul self. Maggie is so fired up about healing her own trauma as well as anyone else who wants to heal their trauma, that she wrote an article for her website which explains what many people don’t realize about trauma. I’m sharing that article here with her encouragement, and with a few tweaks that I took the liberty of making. Also, the last paragraph is written by me because it relates to my clients. So please enjoy most of Maggie’s words:

Is Trauma Affecting Me?

One of my driving missions in life is to help people understand trauma so they can recognize and move past it. Believe it or not, everyone on the planet has experienced trauma to varying degrees.

It can be debilitating to be affected by trauma and not know what it is or how to get rid of it. Many people don’t seek the help they need because they minimize the difficult things that have happened in their lives by comparing themselves to others who have had it much worse. It’s important to know that – like most things in life – trauma runs on a spectrum.

There’s an outdated mental health belief that you have to be really struggling in life before you need therapy or other healing modalities. Most people think that if they are high functioning in life, the pain of their past must not be affecting them. This isn’t the case. Seeking support to untangle from your past gives you the ability to thrive in life. You have the potential to feel even better.

The Definition of Trauma

Trauma is officially defined as, “a deeply disturbing or distressing experience.” That’s a pretty benign explanation compared to what most people think, right? We’ve all had deeply disturbing or distressing experiences in our lives. If the word ‘trauma’ overwhelms you or you just don’t care for it, try thinking of trauma simply as difficult situations and experiences throughout your life.

What’s tricky about trauma is that it’s not just in your past as a memory. The pain from the difficult experience is stored in your body, so when you have a similar situation repeat itself later in life, you are left vulnerable to getting triggered and having strong reactions. We actually form a belief about ourselves and/or life when something difficult happens. The trauma of your past can easily get triggered in your life now.

How to Recognize if You’re Affected by Trauma

Many people simply write off their poor behavior or chalk up their ‘weaknesses’ to not being a good person. They feel flawed. They think it’s just part of life to be plagued by anxiety or depression. What a painful way to go through life. There’s more to this story.

We don’t show up as our best selves when we have trauma stored in our body. The latest trauma research shows that it’s stored in our brain, nervous system and other parts of the body, which means you are not going to be able to simply ‘talk’ your way out of trauma. That’s why a body-based approach to releasing trauma is imperative. Some body-based therapies include Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT); EMDR; somatic experiencing; a powerful technique called Quantum Neuro Reset Therapy (QNRT), or a body-based hypnotherapy approach. These modalities address more than just your mind. Using talk therapy to understand your past and how it affects you can certainly be helpful but may not move the trauma out of your body. It’s helpful to make these connections, but it’s imperative to go further so that you don’t keep getting triggered.

A way to know if you’re being triggered by past trauma is by gauging your reaction to something or someone: is it bigger than what the situation warrants? Let me share an example. Let’s say you’re someone who has trauma around not being included, stemming from the time your friend group purposely excluded you on the playground in third grade. Now, as an adult, you find out your family planned a spontaneous get together and (unintentionally) didn’t invite you. You may have intense feelings of anger, sadness or isolation. You may even lash out at them.

Let me also share an analogy. Imagine there is a bloody, raw wound on your knee, which symbolizes not being included by others. And in this above example, your family not inviting you to a party is like someone taking a sharp razor and scratching the surface of your wounded knee. It’s very difficult for most people to not get triggered by their trauma when it gets stirred up by life’s events. Keep in mind, people’s reactions to trauma differs. Some people start to rage and yell while others get sad and withdraw.

If a person does not have trauma around being excluded (a.k.a. there is no bloody wound on their knee) they may simply think that it must have been an oversight and someone forgot to call them. It feels more like someone took a stick and scratched their knee, which felt slightly uncomfortable (a.k.a. disappointed), but not like the intense pain if there was a bloody, raw wound there. See the difference of living life without trauma?

Signs that You May Have Experienced Trauma

Many people I work with are unaware that the root cause of their challenges is past trauma. This list is based on signs of trauma I see in my clients. Can you relate to any of the items on this list?

  • You have an addiction: food, alcohol, phone, drugs, overworking, exercise, etc.
  • You struggle to make friends.
  • You are constantly worried what others will think.
  • You feel inadequate: in your job, parenting, marriage, or friendships, etc.
  • You have an overall feeling of being unworthy and not good enough.
  • You feel you’ve never lived up to your potential.
  • You spend too much time ruminating about your regrets in life.
  • You sabotage yourself when you start to make progress in your life.
  • It’s scary for you to be vulnerable with trusted people in your life.
  • You are anxious, depressed, or both.
  • You have done years of therapy but still feel stuck in your past.
  • It’s hard to consistently get good sleep.
  • You have health conditions that don’t make sense given how well you care for yourself. (Resources: Ted Talk and The Deepest Well by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris)
  • You hustle for your worthiness. You’re always trying to do and be enough in life to be loved.
  • You struggle to connect well with your family.
  • It’s difficult to allow yourself to be loved.
  • You’re uncomfortable accepting help, gifts or compliments from others.
  • It’s difficult for you to take consistent, good care of yourself.
  • You can’t relax and simply do nothing.
  • You are afraid to not be in a relationship.
  • You are afraid to be in a committed relationship.
  • You don’t know how to relax and just play.
  • You operate most of life from your head versus your heart.
  • It’s difficult for you to be in the present moment. You find yourself constantly thinking.
  • You are often reactive to what happens in your life.
  • You are hypervigilant and feel that ‘the other shoe’ is going to drop.
  • You have an ‘all or nothing’ way of operating in life.
  • You worry about money far too much.
  • You avoid feeling your emotions.
  • You have a lot of fears in your life.
  • You feel like nobody truly understands you.
  • You feel like your needs and wants are ‘too much’ for your partner to handle.
  • You have to rely on medication to adjust your mood.
  • You feel like given all the great things in your life you should be happy, but you’re not.
  • You want to be in a loving relationship, but you have fears it will never happen.
  • You often feel overwhelmed by life.
  • You feel like good things happen to others, not you.
  • You keep your life small even though you truly want more.
  • You accept ongoing, poor behavior from your partner and make excuses for them.
  • You find yourself attracting friends and relationships that cause you pain and disappointment.

I could go on and on. This is not a comprehensive list, but hopefully you get the idea. Our natural state is one in which we feel present, open hearted, peaceful and happy. Sound utopic? Well, releasing the trauma stored in your body will certainly get you much closer to these feelings. I think of all of life as spiritual and releasing your trauma helps you wake up to who and what you are at your core….love and pure presence.

What Types of Situations and Events Can Create Trauma?

First, it’s important to know that what creates trauma in one person may not be what creates trauma in another individual. We are all unique and some people may brush off a comment while another person may be deeply hurt by the same comment.

Here are some examples of situations and events that can create trauma:

  • An ongoing experience of parents being distracted and not present with you
  • Parents or caregivers having an addiction of any kind.
  • Kids making fun of you at school
  • Transitions of any kind such as changing schools, moving to a new city/state/country
  • Getting divorced and/or parents divorcing
  • Growing up in poverty or experiencing financial insecurity
  • Being criticized
  • A parent making negative comments about you either overtly or subtly
  • Feeling like you don’t fit in with your peers
  • Not getting your emotional or physical needs met
  • Not being able to fully express your feelings in childhood or adulthood
  • Any physical, sexual or emotional abuse
  • Making a mistake and getting in trouble for it (or not)
  • Experiencing a break up
  • Losing a friend
  • Struggling in your career
  • Growing up in a restrictive religious faith
  • Witnessing violence
  • Physical pain or injury
  • Surgery
  • Losing a loved one
  • Getting fired or let go from a job
  • Being separated from someone you love
  • Getting cut from a team
  • Any type of embarrassing or shaming situation or event
  • Not dating until later in life
  • Being the oldest in your family and parents relying too much on you
  • Being told you’re ‘different’ by someone you care about
  • Having to excel in school and/or extra-curricular activities in order to get love and attention from your parents.
  • Having a parent who tries to live your life because they haven’t successfully created their own
  • Having a sibling who took up an unfair amount of your parents’ attention
  • Struggling to make friends

Again, this is not a comprehensive list, but hopefully this shifts your perspective on trauma.

Don’t We Just get over Trauma with Time?

Time will not heal trauma.

Why do we continue to be affected by past trauma when it’s in the past? One, because as I shared earlier, it’s literally stored in the body and needs to be released using a body-based therapy. And secondly, we unconsciously form a belief about ourselves and/or the world when something distressing or disturbing happens to us. In a way, these beliefs lock the trauma in place. We live our lives 95% based on these (often unconscious) painful, subconscious beliefs. We are walking around in life as if these painful beliefs are true.

When difficult things happen in life, we unconsciously form beliefs such as:

  • I can’t get my needs met.
  • I shouldn’t communicate what I need and want because it will only end in pain.
  • I’m unlovable.
  • I’m unworthy of love.
  • I’ll never get married.
  • I will never have enough money.
  • I don’t fit in.
  • I have to hide my authentic self in order to get love.
  • What I have to say doesn’t matter.
  • I have to accomplish enough in life in order to get love.
  • I have to exhaust myself helping others in order to get love.
  • I can’t trust others, especially those I love.
  • I have to be smart and useful in order to connect with others.

These are just a few examples. You may notice a common theme in these examples – love and connection. As Brene Brown says, “Love and belonging are irreducible human needs.” When someone doesn’t feel unconditionally loved and connected with others when growing up (or as an adult), a lot of trauma can build up over time.

If I asked anyone if they had any of these beliefs, they would often answer ‘no’ because most people are unaware of their subconscious beliefs. But sadly, we live our lives based on these limiting, subconscious beliefs.

How Do You Release Trauma?

Engaging in a body-based therapy such as those mentioned above will allow you to release trauma stored in your body.

How Might I Feel Differently if I Release the Pain of my Past?

My clients report feeling lighter, because of the absence of negative thought-form energy which feels mentally and emotionally heavy. They also report feeling more free and more in touch with their true authentic self which is non-reactive. Also, as you heal the past within you, the “law of attraction” no longer takes place, and you will no longer draw to you situations, events and circumstances that match a low internal vibration of negative thoughts, feelings and beliefs that can be by-products of trauma. Thus, you are no longer caught up in the cycle of being triggered by loved ones who triggered you in the past. Strangers may even respond to you differently, in a more positive, non-reactive way, because you have shifted the energy patterns within yourself, and between you, others and the world. As Paramahansa Yogandanda, author of Autobiography of a Yogi, wrote: “As you heal yourself, you heal the world…far more than you could ever know.”

How to Live in Wild Times

Perspective is a key to happiness. From a higher perspective, it might be helpful to ask the question: Why is it that this earth realm is the realm of fear, loss and brokenness? Because this is the place we’ve elected to come to challenge ourselves as souls. Challenges are our means of personal and spiritual growth.

Nobody escapes earth alive…it’s not designed that way…but the afterlife is. The afterlife is where we evaluate how we dealt with our challenges that we came here to experience. This earth realm is the place where we voluntarily fall asleep to who and what we are behind the veil of our human space suits. When we begin to awaken to the truth of ourselves, to the part of us that’s infinite, and the truth that the human part of us is wholly loved and guided from the spiritual realm, then life on earth with its built-in challenges can become easier to deal with.

How we react and respond to our challenges and to loss is what creates our karma, or in other words, what we might experience in our future. Do we react to hurt and loss by living in fear and guarding our heart, or by using these experiences to grow stronger and perhaps be a guide to others?

One of the lighter challenges in my life is how I deal with the cold weather of Minnesota. I have the habit of feeling cheated somehow when I look at the weather patterns and sometimes see that it’s 15 degrees warmer where I grew up about 4 hours southeast of my current home. It would benefit me to keep in mind the saying, “What you resist persists.” Byron Katie puts it another way: “When you go to war with ‘what is’, you’ll lose every time.” If I’m choosing to live here, acceptance would benefit me. What other areas in our lives could use acceptance? Is it possible to work towards change while having an attitude of accepting whatever unfolds?

Joan Pancoe, astrologer and mystic, recently wrote that if we’re ready to upgrade and refine our attitudes about how to work with the state of the world these days, perhaps no one says it better than Chögyam Trungpa:

“Working with conflict is precisely the idea of walking on the spiritual path. The path is a wild, winding mountain road with all kinds of curves; there are wild animals, attacks by bandits, all kinds of situations cropping up. As far as the occupation of our mind is concerned, the chaos of the path is the fun.

All the things taking place around our world, all the irritations and all the problems, are crucial. Without others we cannot attain enlightenment—in fact, we cannot even tread on the path. If there is no noise outside during our sitting meditation, we cannot develop mindfulness. If we do not have aches and pains in the body, we cannot attain mindfulness; we cannot actually meditate. If everything were lovey-dovey and jellyfish-like, there would be nothing to work with.

Very beautiful situations have developed using chaos as part of the enlightened approach. There is chaos of all kinds developing all the time: psychological disorder, social disorder, metaphysical disorder, or physical disorder, constantly happening. If you are trying to stop those situations, you are looking for external means of liberating yourself, another answer. But if we are able to look into the basic situation, then chaos is the inspiration, confusion is the inspiration.”

Adyashanti challenges us to ask the question in any situation: “What is the highest truth right now?” It always comes back to what is referred to in Hindu scriptures, “God’s Lila, or God’s play.” We are all a part of God experiencing ourselves. We’re all role-playing here. This perspective is a good one to hold in the back of your mind when facing the inevitable ups and downs of life.