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The Death of My Mother

My mom died two weeks ago. It came as a relief as her 20 year struggle with Parkinson’s had taken its toll. By the end she couldn’t speak or move, although we knew she could hear us as her breathing would change and speed up, or she would get teary when we would share memories or speak from our heart. As the youngest of 4 kids, we had a special bond. My siblings tease me to this day about being her “favorite”. I will always cherish her love.

I am grateful for an awareness of the after-world because it helped me encourage mom to let go and be with my dad who passed away 9 years ago. It also helped me to be happy for her when she finally died. I cried a mixture of tears of joy and celebration for her and also sadness for the finality of the physical loss. The best thing anyone can do with a loss is to allow the energy of grief to move through you. Then, couple it with the awareness that you can still communicate with them, you’ll see them again, and that love never dies. My brother David made a beautiful, 5-minute video called Celebrating Sally Link Christopher. This has helped me and my family through the grieving process.

Given my work, I’ve had the experience of guiding thousands of people to past lives and the after-world. One thing the journeys all have in common is a feeling of “going home”, and of being immersed in a lighter vibration of love and total acceptance as they moved higher and deeper into the spirit world.

Because of my work, I’ve also had the privilege of being introduced to several afterlife researchers. One of them is Victor Zammit who wrote the book, A Lawyer Presents the Evidence of the Afterlife. He and his wife send out a fascinating, free weekly newsletter called the Afterlife Reportsomething worth checking out if you’re interested in the topic.

A few years ago, I was introduced to a book called Flying High in Spirit, by Carol and Mikey Morgan (available on Amazon). It’s about a young man named Mikey who went to a Catholic high school about a mile or two from my home office. He was beginning his third year of college in Colorado when he was killed in a car accident. For several months after his death, he sent obvious signs and messages to his family that he was still alive and conscious, just not in a body.

When his mother Carol gradually accepted that he was communicating with her, he guided her to an intuitive development class so she could communicate with him. He revealed that they had both arranged their situation prior to this life. He was an older soul who had stopped incarnating to earth, but he had planned with his mother to incarnate into this life to get a taste of human life again, and then die early in order to communicate back to his mother things about the spirit realm and about God that would be helpful for humanity to know. Things such as what the spirit realm was like, what earth life was about from the spiritual perspective, and what God is and what God is not. Also, how exactly spirits communicate with loved ones left behind on the physical plane.

Flying High in Spirit confirmed much of what I’ve previously studied about the afterlife and taught me even more, making the spirit realm feel so much more “real” and accessible. Now that my mother has died, I have a clearer sense of her experience in the spirit world…what Mikey calls “the Summerlands”, where most souls travel to after their death. I’m comforted by the image of my mom reuniting with my dad and her family in a celebration of her life — something that Mikey says happens in the Summerlands.

Another author who shares about the after-world is Jurgen Ziewe. He meticulously chronicles 40 years of out-of-body astral travel research in his two books titled, Multi-Dimensional Man: An Authentic Eyewitness Account of the World that Awaits Us After Death, and also Vistas of Infinity: How to Enjoy Life When You Are Dead. Ziewe shares how souls can select and change their age and appearance, and how his mother always appeared different during the dozen times he visited her. Since my mom’s death, I often wonder what age she chooses to appear with my dad.

I’m grateful for my understanding of the afterlife, and how it’s supported my grieving process. The more we study and understand about the afterlife, the more comforted we become, and the easier it is to endure the inevitable losses on earth.

Love Image - June 21, 2020 blog

Times of Change

We are in eclipse season according to astrologers…June 5, 21, and July 4-5. Eclipses represent beginnings and endings. It’s not uncommon to experience turmoil that proceeds times of change, and that is precisely what we are experiencing now on the planet…with Covid-19, George Floyd’s murder, polarizing political beliefs, etc.

As the consciousness level of the planet raises, it brings to the surface conditioned beliefs and subsequent actions that are not unifying and love based, that are not congruent with a high level of consciousness, both individually and collectively. We are in a time where the duality of 3rd Dimensional thinking (black/white; good/bad; right/wrong) is exposing negative, divisive beliefs and patterns so they can be seen and recognized as no longer working and thus in need of transformation. When Steve Dinan, founder of The Shift Network, recently discussed racism, he stated, “There is simply no way for America or humanity to move forward as a species without transforming racism at the root level. Racist beliefs and policies are directly opposed to seeing each other as sacred beings, worthy of respect. Racist beliefs and policies suppress our collective creativity and our compassion. They reduce our ability, as a species, to learn and grow. They keep us stuck in cycles of oppression that fetter the human spirit.”

These transformative times call for healing…and healing is an inside job that begins with awakening to our multitude of blind spots. For instance, if you’re not a person of color, you may be blind to the deep frustration, challenges and feelings of injustice that comes from living as a minority. White privilege is about having the privilege to not think or worry about the color of your skin when you are walking in a park or stopped for a speeding ticket.

Another significant blind spot is our identity beneath our human earth suit. There will be a time when we all gather as souls and compare what earth life was like in the various races and ethnicities that we chose to experience. Wouldn’t it be interesting and insightful if we could have this conversation while we are incarnate? We could more easily talk about the blatant and subtle injustices and frustrations without it feeling too raw and personal. We could more easily understand others point of view without our own bias filters getting in the way. Unfortunately, much of society is currently unaware of the evidence that we are souls using this body for growth and experiential purposes. But that is also changing. Bit by bit we as a species are beginning to crack out of the shell of ignorance into awareness of our transcendent nature.

We are also in a time where judging others and their beliefs seems to be coming to a head in these politically polarizing times. It’s important for all human beings to make note that you may want to be careful about who you judge because as a soul you may choose to incarnate into the very group of people that you most judge so you can learn understanding, compassion and balance. The goal is for all of us to learn that lesson while we’re here, so that we can live and operate from our true foundation of unity and love rather than our conditioned fears and beliefs that create divisions. Here is a fascinating case study that demonstrates this.

I’ve recently read two beautiful pearls of wisdom that speak to the theme that I’m writing about in this blog. They come from Suzanne Giesemann, a former US naval commander and now medium and channel. Each day, she shares a few sentences of love and insights from teachers from across the veil called Sanaya. I would encourage anyone to sign up for these free daily reminders on her website here.

Here is the first one:

Sanaya says: We ask you to examine your aspen trees. On the surface of one grove you see individual trees of varying sizes and ages, all appearing separate. Underneath what appears to be a surface—the earthly ground—lies a vast web of connections: the root system. What appears to be separate is but a web, connecting what? One living organism. The earthly ground hides this from you, yet the soil through which the living tree passes is vital to its existence.

For now, focus on the web of roots. Could you see yourselves at an energetic level, you would begin to understand why you experience so many connections and synchronicities with those you know and meet. Beneath the surface you are one organism. Think not in terms of the physical bodies. This is where you go astray. Think in terms of subtle energy … of Life Force … that which animates you. Perhaps you might call it “Love,” and you would be correct. All is One. We will continue to use analogies and lessons of love until you finally know what the heart has never forgotten. You are so very loved.

The second one is called Much Appreciated. It offers some deep wisdom and suggestions that would benefit us all:

“I can appreciate that you feel that way.”  Would this not be music to your ears from another if you were to state an opinion?  No matter how the other feels, at least you were heard.  Can you appreciate that each of the seven billion of you sees things just a bit, if not a great deal, differently?  If you can appreciate this, then apply this phrase in your interactions with others and as you read your headlines.  It does not mean you agree.  It does not mean, “You are right,” and it does not mean, “You are wrong.”  It means, “I hear you, and I understand you have a point of view.” How does it feel to be heard?  How does it feel to be appreciated?  This is an excellent step toward oneness, the field out beyond right and wrong and differing points of view.  No right.  No wrong.  Just experience. You are so very loved.

Natalie Fowler, an author, psychic, medium, (and also friend and neighbor), described the past few weeks in an interesting way. She recently wrote: “The last few weeks have felt a little like we are living in a snow globe. But maybe our whole world needed to get shook up so we can settle it back together in a new and better way? Maybe it’s true what they say: Life happens FOR us, not TO us.”

As Eckhart Tolle says, we tend to grow the most personally and spiritually on the heels of tragedy. This means individually and as a society. May we all recognize that we are in the midst of tremendous growth opportunity now, depending on how we respond to challenges during this time. Many blessings to all!

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Freedom and Truth – a Perception Shift Away

Many months ago, I wrote an article for The Edge Magazine, a valuable resource for anyone on a journey of personal and spiritual growth and evolution. Last December’s topic of the month was on living without fear with trust in the divine. Since that seemed quite relevant to these Covid-19 times, and helping people do that is often what my work is about, I felt it appropriate to share that article here….please enjoy!

“All Suffering is due to wrong identification.” – The Buddha

The process of dissolving my deeply rooted fears probably began when I was backpacking around India as an impressionable 24 year old. I decided to work at one of Mother Theresa’s homes for the destitute and dying in Calcutta (now Kolkata). The experience of sitting with people as they died seeded a belief in me that we are not our bodies, and that our consciousness transcends this dense earth realm.

This belief eventually sprouted into an inner knowing as I encountered experiences that reinforced this truth. For example, when my girlfriend died of breast cancer 13 years ago, an evidence-based medium was able to tell me things no one would know but us. Also, as I became fascinated with past life memories, I researched numerous verified past life memories of children as well as adults who recalled past lives through hypnotic regression.

In their book, A Lawyer Presents the Evidence For the Afterlife, Victor and Wendy Zammit argue that if all of the evidence for the afterlife were put in a court of law, it would win easily and unanimously. Evidence of the afterlife reveals that we are eternal, indestructible soul beings. Although we one day will lose our body, we can never separate ourselves from the energy and consciousness that animates our body. Thus, a key premise in releasing fears is to know that you can never be harmed. From the vantage point of the body, that sounds absurd, and it is, because the body gets hurt, sick and dies. But truth is relative, and from the “more relatively true” vantage point of your “more permanent self”, you ultimately cannot be harmed, because you are energy and consciousness that comes from Oneness, and how can Oneness be harmed? The more Truth can become embedded in the belief system of the ego, which is based on the illusion of separateness and identification with our body, the more our fears begin to melt away, being replaced with a calm, inner assurance that all is well and always has been and will be.

Fears are built into the human experience. Fears come with a body that can get hurt and die. Messages of fear also come in when we’re young and we are completely dependent on outside caregivers for a sense of love, value and security. When it doesn’t happen, because and our parents are humans operating from their own issues and beliefs, subconscious fears can take root such as not being loveable, being judged as “less than”, or fear of failing, etc. We get conditioned early on to look for our sense of self through outside sources like family and friends rather than from within.

Thus, a big key in releasing subconscious fears is to identify more with the aspect of you that cannot be harmed. Freedom comes with an identity shift. When I help clients release limiting fears, I initially guide them on a deep inner journey within to connect with their Higher Self and Source energy. This is possible because no one can be separated from their Higher Self and Source energy…it simply gets covered up in the human experience. Thus hypnotherapy can be used to help de-hypnotize yourself from the source of all suffering — ego identification. From the vantage point of Source, all fears stem from false beliefs of the ego self. They feel true from the ego’s mindset, and may have become embedded into our subconscious mind’s operating system at a young age, but these beliefs are not actually true from the standpoint of a higher dimension of yourself and of Truth.

As we begin our spiritual journey of awakening out of ego identification, there becomes a trickle-down effect of releasing subtle fears that are not in alignment with our Higher Self. We as souls are challenging ourselves to allow our body/mind systems to be clear vessels for the brilliance of our true selves to shine through. As we operate and live less from our false fears and outdated programming, and more from our true selves, we are naturally guided by our own passions, gifts and strengths. We become the beings of freedom and love that we always have been and always will be.

How to Respond in This Moment in Time?

“We are no doubt at a very critical point in time. Our world hangs in balance, and a very precarious balance it is. Awakening to Reality is no longer a possibility; it is an imperative. We have sailed the ship of delusion about as far as she can carry us.” – Adyashanti, The Way of Liberation

For many people, the Coronavirus has triggered root chakra fears of safety and security from not only this life, but past lives as well. Many of us as souls have either died from plagues and epidemics in past lives or known of people who have, so it’s no wonder people are struggling.

Additionally, the stay at home order can create an environment that brings to the surface conflicts and issues within familial relationships. Any conflicts that arise in relationships always point to something within ourselves that can be healed, or shifted to a new perspective that doesn’t create conflict. The virus serves as an opportunity to point to that which is ready to be changed or healed not only within ourselves but also collectively as a society. I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing this healing in my office. Recently, I’ve seen three clients who have healed tremendous trauma in their lives, and are now in a place where they are noticing an effortless flow of feelings of love, joy and gratitude in their lives. Now that they have released their traumas, they are more easily able to allow their body/mind system to be a clear vessel for their soul to shine through and express itself. If you’re in a tough space with your emotions, know that it’s possible to feel more peace through healing work.

The virus is also pointing out lessons regarding the healing of society and the earth. For example, as the busy pace of everyday life has slowed down, the dolphins have returned to the canals in Venice, Italy. Air pollution and global CO2 levels, contributors to climate change, have been significantly reduced. People are witnessing clear blue skies in areas of China that they haven’t seen in years. People are unified in a common challenge, and it can bring out acts of love, creativity and kindness. A wonderful example of this came last Saturday. I was pulled outside by the melodic sounds of beautiful saxophone music. On our street corner was a young man sharing his amazing musical talents. More and more neighbors were being drawn outside. People passing by stopped to listen and began intermingling with others, albeit 6 feet away. Everyone was soaking in the atmosphere…listening, smiling, laughing, talking, some even dancing. In that moment in time, the young musician had lifted everyone’s spirits and created a unified feeling of bond and connection within the community.

We have purposely incarnated into this 3rd Dimension of duality during this transitional time on earth to challenge ourselves, although challenging ourselves happens to be the purpose of all incarnations. How we respond to these challenges helps to create, define and shape who we are, and can also help determine what comes our way in the future via the law karma and the law of attraction. The awakened sage Eckhart Tolle says that we tend to grow the most personally and spiritually on the heels of our greatest tragedies and challenges. Thus, the Coronavirus provides us the opportunity to decide who and what we choose to be in the face of challenges…to act like a victim or to shine as an inspiration to others.

If we’re racked with fear, there is an invitation to remember that we are actually eternal beings based in love and we can heal any repressed fear that is getting triggered within our body/mind systems so we can allow the love that we are to flow through us. This would also be a perfect time to start a gratitude journal if you are feeling fear. Our vibration raises considerably with thoughts of love, appreciation, gratitude and compassion. And it just so happens that these qualities are a natural by-product as we spiritually awaken to the truth of who and what we are. Energy flows where attention goes.

I often like to share some sources of inspiration and teaching in my blogs. Here are a few:

Gregg Braden is a scientist who bridges science and spirituality. One of the ongoing themes of his research and teaching is that we are interconnected, and our thoughts affect not only our body’s immune system and vitality, but also the well being of the planet. Joining a group meditation to heal the planet does far more than we can know and currently understand for not only ourselves but also our earth home.

Alan Pritz, meditation teacher and author, shares specifically how people can serve as channels for divine healing through scientific prayer in this article.

The Community for Higher Consciousness is a group in the Twin Cities area dedicated to supporting people to be their best selves while transitioning into higher consciousness in order to help themselves and also the planet.

Finally, The Shift Network offers online courses and classes to support the growth and transformation for people on all levels…physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

We are all growing and evolving on a soul level whether we’re aware of it or not. But it goes so much more smoothly when we are conscious and deliberate about it.

Many blessings to you!

 

Spiritual Perspectives on Coronavirus

“Death is absolutely safe!” — Ram Dass

Some thoughts dropped into me as I listened to a client discuss her fears surrounding the Coronavirus… fears that are reflective of what many people are feeling these days, as stores are being sold out on many items such as disinfectants and toilet paper.

Fears can be used as tools to awaken. For instance, fears are designed to protect us. There is certainly a human part of us that needs and wants protection, and I can understand and empathize that this virus can be scary for many people. But if your goal is personal and spiritual awakening, the Coronaviris  provides an invitation to identify with the part of you that doesn’t need protection, that doesn’t die, that’s eternal and indestructible, that’s outside of time and space. And if you’re into a deeper level of awakening beyond the fact that we are soul beings, you can ask the questions, ‘”What part of us doesn’t come and go?, What part of our awareness is always anchored in the here and now, even before and after death?” We all ultimately come from one consciousness….divided into trillions of diverse individual perspectives.

I remember one of my teachers saying, “Death for most of us will be the single most joyous experience of our lives.” Indeed, as I research the afterlife more, I personally am looking forward to when and where there is no death, decay, disease, no need for money, no aging…where you mostly learn and grow, have reunions, follow your own interests, and you can travel at the speed of a thought.  A great book which provides evidence and glimpses into the afterlife is called The Joy of Dying, by Roberta Grimes, a lawyer and avid afterlife researcher. Another good book by a lawyer is called A Lawyer Presents the Evidence for the Afterlife, by Victor Zammit. He maintains that if evidence of the afterlife were presented in a court of law, it would win easily and unanimously.

Our ego self (which contains our fears, and which we’re mostly identified with in this life) doesn’t choose when we die…a higher, unconscious part of us does. We’ll leave this earth when it’s the right and perfect time for us to do so, so we don’t have to worry much about it. For instance, I have a friend who has tried to kill himself six times, to no avail. Doctors have said on more than one occasion that they don’t know how he’s still alive. On the other hand, I had a girlfriend die of breast cancer who wanted so badly to live. Our soul self chooses when we leave this earth realm.

When I shared some of these sentiments with my client, she said people need to hear this message because the antidote to fear is in it.

I’m sharing one spiritual perspective on it. Lately, I’ve read a few others worth reading. One is a great article called What is the Spiritual Perspective on Coronavirus?, by Ulla Sarmiento. It gives reassuring tips and perspectives to deal with the virus, and discusses what the virus teaches us. It points out that there are no sides to this virus, and all people and countries are unified in a vested interest in sharing how to best combat it. The earth is moving out of 3rd dimension energy which is based in separation, and into 4th dimensional energy, which is based in connectivity.

Another insightful article is by Joan Pancoe, a mystic and astrologer. She discusses, in her typical humorous way, beneficial insights, perspectives and activities to help calm the fear-based hysteria from the virus.

 

 

Awakening to Our Soul’s Purpose

Several months ago, I wrote an article for The Edge Magazine. The Edge is a free local magazine and a valuable resource for anyone on their journey of personal and spiritual growth and expansion. Each month, The Edge Magazine features a new topic. Last September’s topic was about how to discover our soul’s purpose. Since helping people do that is often what my work is about, I wrote on this theme. It’s also an article that helps people understand a bit more about the process of past life regression…a practice that is easily misunderstood until you actually experience it firsthand. Below is my article….please enjoy!

An effective way of finding your soul’s purpose is to directly connect with your soul self. This is not as difficult as most people would think because you already are your soul self. One day you won’t be your body, but try as you might, you can’t ever NOT BE your soul self…the part of you that survives all of your lifetimes.

I use the modality of past life and life-between-lives regression to help people connect with one’s soul self. It provides a step-by-step process to quiet the analytical thinking mind and go within to make a more “solid” connection to that which you already are. When your mind is like a blank canvas, and you have set the intention to gain insight into your soul’s purpose, you have created a great foundation and opportunity to receive what you are requesting.

Past life regression can be viewed as a guided journey to “disidentify” with your present body/mind system, assume a different body/mind personality, and finally “disidentify” with them both when the past life comes to an end. When this happens, you begin to take on the perspective of the soul self which transcends all lives. Typically you are shown a life that provides the wisdom, insight and clarity to help you heal, grow and awaken. Why does this happen? Because, as one of my client’s guides said, “Just as the body’s instinct is to breathe, the soul’s instinct is to grow and evolve.” Therefore, as you go within, you often get precisely what you need to move forward in your life, or gain clarity on your present life’s purpose if it is requested.

For example, when one of my clients recently did a past life regression to better understand her soul’s purpose for this life, she was shown a life in which the person she had the deepest connection with, her mother, had died of a disease when she was 8 years old. The loss of her mother was such a blow to her that it caused her to guard her heart for the rest of her life. Although she married a loving husband, she could not fully take in his love and held a bit back from fully loving her family. When that life was over, she reunited with her mother’s soul essence and reviewed that life. She regretted the subconscious decision to hold back from fully loving in that life due to the subconscious fear of getting hurt, and realized that she was doing the same thing in this life ever since her parents separated around the age of 6, when she felt as if she lost a connection with them both. She realized that one of her soul’s purposes in this life was to learn to deal with loss in a healthy, awakened way, rather than in a way that shut her down. Since then, she has been healing her present life emotional wounds, making deeper connections in her relationships, and is helping others do the same by viewing loss as a temporary challenge.

During life-between-lives sessions, people spend the majority of their sessions in the spirit realm connecting with guides at an even higher vibration level. While there, I’ve noticed several themes when people are seeking answers regarding their soul’s purpose. They often discover their soul’s purpose to be about being proactive in creating a life that gives them the most satisfaction…which, from that high level of consciousness, is usually about creating a life that involves helping others or contributing to society in a way that combines their own interests, gifts and strengths. I’ve also noticed that people often discover their purpose to be about becoming deeply present with life, fully appreciating people, pets, sunsets, a cup of tea, etc., rather than being lost in their mind’s chatter, or else operating from their fears and concerns which no longer seem valid from the vantage point of the soul which cannot be hurt. Finally, people deeply understand that their lives will be most satisfying if they can allow themselves to express the highest level of love and connection while in the physical form. We often discover that we’ve held ourselves back in various ways from these expressions in some of our other lives due to subtle fears in the human experience. Past life regression and life-between-lives is all about becoming aware of our learned subconscious patterns that no longer benefit us.

The theme of inner journey work is: “As you go within, you nearly always get what you are searching for.” Therefore, if you’re interested in your soul’s purpose, go within to connect with that which you already are.

new book release — Wisdom of Souls

24 years ago I read the book Journey of Souls by Michael Newton and it changed my life. It propelled me into doing the work that I do now. Journey of Souls is a must read for anyone beginning the personal and spiritual path of healing, evolving and awakening into a higher level of conscious awareness.

Because so many therapists like myself were amazed at how people could find peace, clarity, wisdom and deep healing from an inner journey within, the Newton Institute was established as a way for practitioners to learn and apply the spiritual regression techniques that Michael Newton mastered.

The Newton Institute has now released a new book called Wisdom of Souls, a book of fascinating case studies of healing and insight using past life regression and Life-Between-Lives spiritual hypnotherapy from practitioners of the Newton Institute. I share a couple of case studies in this book. If you were fascinated by Journey of Souls, then this new book won’t disappoint.

Here’s the press release for Wisdom of Souls coming out on December 8, 2019 by Llewellyn Publishing in St. Paul.

Explore Fascinating Case Studies from The Newton Institute
ST. PAUL, MINN — Following in the footsteps of Dr. Michael
Newton’s bestselling books Journey of Souls and Destiny of
Souls, this book shares awe-inspiring stories of healing and
wisdom experienced by real people just like you. Within these
pages, you’ll discover what it’s like to take an astral journey to
the realm of spirit, where loving guides and higher beings of light
await to provide instruction and warm encouragement. No matter
what kinds of issues you’re struggling with in your life, you will
be able to relate to the powerful wisdom that is shared in these
case studies. Written by members of the Michael Newton Institute
for Life Between Lives Hypnotherapy, these fascinating stories
provide profound spiritual insights and lessons that will help you
release past traumas and connect to your own inner wisdom.
Llewellyn’s Life Between Lives books, written by the late Dr. Michael
Newton and members of the Newton Institute, have sold more than a
million copies worldwide.

Inspiring stories focus specifically on exploring life between lives, to gain
a new perspective on relationships, family conflict, career and financial
difficulties, anxiety and depression, health issues, phobias, and more,
offering wise spiritual advice for healing.

Wisdom of Souls
Case Studies of Life Between Lives
from the Michael Newton Institute
By
The Newton Institute
Trade Paper
US $18.99 |CAN $26.99
ISBN: 978-0-7387-5834-3
288 Pages
US Release December 2019
UK/Canada January 2020

THE NEWTON INSTITUTE (USA) was established in 2005 by bestselling author Michael Newton. As the foremost organization for life between lives studies, the Institute includes members in forty countries and conducts its popular Life Between Life training seminars to enthusiastic professional audiences around the world. Wisdom of Souls has been written by prominent members of the Institute’s research committee: Dr. Ann Clark, Karen Joy, Dr. Joanne Selinske, and Marilyn Hargreaves. Learn more at www.NewtonInstitute.org.

 

Symptoms of Childhood Emotional Neglect

I’ve been seeing a lot of clients lately who have grown up with Childhood Emotional Neglect. In these cases, an effective means of helping to heal from the impact of emotional neglect is the Emotional Healing and Awakening session. Sometimes the beliefs of unworthiness or shame that get formed are so deeply rooted in the subconscious mind that it’s difficult to release the grip of them with talk therapy only. But when you first become solidly anchored in your higher soul self, which happens in the Emotional Healing session, it’s much easier to see through, disconnect from, and no longer believe the “sticky” beliefs of shame and unworthiness that seem so embedded in your identity. It becomes apparent that these subtle beliefs are not inherent to your true being, but rather are formed purely because of outside influences, such as caregivers who are so caught in their own issues that they can’t be present with you in the way you needed them to be to form a healthy understanding of your true self.

An author and expert on the subject of Childhood Emotional Neglect is psychologist Jonice Webb. She wrote a brief article about it, and I’m sharing it here. I encourage you to take the questionnaire at the end. Please enjoy:

7 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect

Childhood Emotional Neglect is both simple in its definition and powerful in its effects. It happens when your parents fail to respond enough to your emotional needs while they’re raising you.

Emotional Neglect is an invisible, unmemorable childhood experience. Yet unbeknownst to you, it can hang over you like a cloud, coloring your entire adult life.

What makes Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) invisible and unmemorable? Several important factors. First, it can happen in otherwise loving, caring families that lack for nothing materially. Second, your parents’ failure to respond is not something that happens to you as a child. Instead, it’s something that fails to happen for you as a child. Our eyes don’t see the things that fail to happen. And so our brains can’t record them.

Decades later, an adult, you sense that something is not right, but you don’t know what it is. You may look at your childhood for answers, but you cannot see the invisible. So you are left to assume that something is innately wrong with you.

“Whatever is wrong, it’s my own fault,” you secretly believe. “I’m different from other people. Something is missing. I’m flawed.”

Yet it’s not your fault. There are answers. And once you understand the problem, you can heal.

7 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect

Feelings of emptiness.

Emptiness feels different for different people. For some, it’s an empty feeling in their belly, chest or throat that comes and goes. For others, it’s a numbness.

Fear of being dependent.

It’s one thing to be an independent kind of person. But feeling deeply uncomfortable about depending on anyone is another thing altogether. If you find yourself taking great care to not need help, support or care from others, you may have this fear.

Unrealistic self-appraisal.

Do you find it hard to know what you are capable of? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What do you like? What do you want? What matters to you? Struggling to answer these questions is a sign that you don’t know yourself as well as you should.

No compassion for yourself, plenty for others.

Are you harder on yourself than you would ever be on a friend? Do others talk to you about their problems, but it’s hard for you to share yours?

Guilt, shame, self-directed anger, and blame.

Guilt, shame, anger, and blame; The Fabulous Four, all directed at yourself. Some people have a tendency to go straight to guilt and shame whenever a negative event happens in their lives. Do you feel ashamed of things that most people would never be ashamed of? Like having needs, making mistakes, or having feelings?

Feeling fatally flawed.

This is that deep sense I talked about above. You know that something is wrong in your life, but you can’t pinpoint what it is. “It’s me,” you say to yourself, and you feel that it is true. “I’m not likable,” “I’m different than other people.” “Something is wrong with me.”

Difficulty feeling, identifying, managing and/or expressing emotions.

Do you get tongue-tied when you’re upset? Have a limited vocabulary of emotion words? Often feel confused about why people (including yourself) feel or act the way they do?

Parents who under-notice, undervalue or under-respond to their child’s emotions inadvertently convey a powerful, subliminal message to the child:

Your feelings don’t matter.

To cope as a child, you naturally push your emotions down, to keep them from becoming a “problem” in your childhood home.

Then, as an adult, you are living without enough access to your emotions: your emotions, which should be directing, guiding, informing, connecting and enriching you; your emotions, which should be telling you who matters to you and what matters to you, and why.

And now for the excellent news of the day. It’s not too late for you.

Once you understand the reason for your forever “flaw,” and how it came about, you can heal from your Childhood Emotional Neglect by becoming aware of it and noticing how it affects your life. You can establish a new pipeline to your emotions. You can learn the skills to use them.

You can finally accept that your feelings are real, and they matter. You can finally see that you matter.

You can take on your Childhood Emotional Neglect, and your life will change.

If you have some of the 7 Signs, Take the Childhood Emotional Neglect Questionnaire. It’s free.

To learn much more about how Emotional Neglect gets passed down in families, and how to stop it and heal it see the book, Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents & Your Children.

 

Bridging Science, Human Development and Enlightenment

I like to use this blog to introduce ideas, people and resources for the purpose of personal and spiritual development. Today I’d like to share about the work of Dr. David Hawkins, an enlightened, yet scientific-minded individual who created a bridge between science, human development and enlightenment. Two of his well known books are Power vs Force (detailed below) and his later book Letting Go, which describes a “simple and effective means to let go of the obstacles to Enlightenment and become free of negativity”.

The brief excerpt below is taken from an article from the website http://personality-development.org/. It begins by introducing David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., and then gives a brief summary on part of his book Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior. In this book he shares what he determines to be the level of consciousness of the planet around the year 2000. It would be interesting to note how the consciousness level has increased over the past 20 years or so. Various teachers and mystics have said it is beginning to increase at an accelerated pace.

Please enjoy:

David Hawkins is a psychiatrist who not only tackled years of clinical experience, but has conducted extensive research. His career spans from 1952 when he earned his MD from The Medical College of Wisconsin (established as Marquette University School of Medicine). In 1995, he also earned his PhD. in Philosophy from Columbia Pacific University. In his lifetime, he has founded and led several research laboratories and clinics.

Levels of Consciousness in “Power VS Force”

The most well known publication of Dr. Hawkins is “Power VS. Force – The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior” (Hawkins, 2002). In the book, Hawkins extrapolates a hierarchical model of personality development. Hawkins argues that the personality can be described in a scoring system which ranges from 0 to 1000 (0 being the lowest score, 1000 being absolute enlightenment or pure awareness) (Hawkins 2002, 75-85). It is of interest to note that Hawkins argues that objective truth is not only existent, but may be reached and understood by any individual using a technique called kinesiology. By accessing the “Database of Consciousness,” an individual may have questions answered with 100% certainty. His research shows that results are repeatable and accurate (Hawkins 2002, 29-30), regardless of the individual who performs the kinesiologic testing.

Each energy level outlined by Hawkins is extrapolated in the book. These levels of consciousness permeate the individual’s entire perspective and dictate the way they relate to their life experiences. For Hawkins, moving upward into higher states of consciousness is the only way to make meaningful progress in one’s life. Sadly, the average individual only moves up 5 points in their entire lifetime. However, a focused effort to move into higher states can lead to incredible leaps of awareness in relatively short periods of time. Individuals will fluctuate between different points on the scale, but an overall average number can be calculated using kinesiological testing. Briefly, here are the energy levels outlined by David Hawkins:

20: Shame

30: Guilt

50: Apathy

75: Grief

100: Fear

125: Desire

150: Anger

175: Pride

200: Courage

250: Neutrality

310: Willingness

350: Acceptance

400: Reason

500: Love

540: Joy

600: Peace

700-1000: Enlightenment

Although Hawkins goes into great detail about the various levels of consciousness, he points out two turning points as most crucial.

“On our scale of consciousness, there are two critical points that allow for major advancement. The first is at 200, the initial level of empowerment: Here, the willingness to stop blaming and accept responsibility for one’s own actions, feelings, and beliefs arises – as long as cause and responsibility are projected outside of oneself, one will remain in the powerless mode of victimhood. The second is at the 500 level, which is reached by accepting love and nonjudgemental forgiveness as a lifestyle, exercising unconditional kindness to all persons, things, and events without exception.” (Hawkins 2002, 238).

These two thresholds are primary challenges for many individuals today. Moving beyond them represents a significant barrier which can only be overcome through a significant shift in personality. After moving beyond these realms, progression into increasingly higher states is very natural and less challenging.

Measuring Collective Consciousness

Through kinesiological testing, David Hawkins and his researchers estimate the energy state of humanity’s collective consciousness to sit around 207 (Hawkins 2002, 95). This is just above the 200 threshold, in which we move from an overall destructive force to an overall creative force on the planet. Therefore, Hawkins is very optimistic about the progress being made. However, Hawkins warns that “Any meaningful human satisfaction cannot commence until the level of 250, where some degree of self-confidence begins to emerge as a basis for positive life experiences in the evolution of consciousness.” (Hawkins 2002, 96).

Counterbalancing Lower States of Consciousness

Individuals in states below 200 are explained as counterproductive to society. Their actions, in general, cause more harm than good. Furthermore, Hawkins warns that more than 85% of humans alive today still calibrate below the critical 200 level threshold (Hawkins 2002, 95). This is not surprising given that the majority of humanity still lives in extreme poverty, in which development of consciousness is nearly impossible.

The reason that our collective score sits at 207 is because the scale is logarithmic. Individuals who maintain higher states of awareness counterbalance large numbers of minds in lower states. Although only 4 percent of people alive today have reached the critical energy field of 500, individuals in these states have extremely powerful influence on the well being of society as a whole. In fact, Hawkins points out that only .4 percent of the population reaches 540, and only 1 in 10 million people will ever reach the level of 600 (Hawkins 2002, 95). He also points out that there are currently 12 persons on the planet who calibrate at 700 (Hawkins 2002, 282).

To gain perspective of the power of individuals who reach higher states – and it emphasize the importance of our individual capacity to reach these higher states – Hawkins lays out the mathematics (Hawkins 2002, 282):

One individual at 700 counterbalances 70 million individuals below level 200

One individual at 600 counterbalances 10 million individuals below level 200

One individual at 500 counterbalances 750,000 individuals below level 200

One individual at 400 counterbalances 400,000 individuals below level 200

One individual at 300 counterbalances 90,000 individuals below level 200

Twelve individuals at 700 equals one avatar at level 1000

Because of the logarithmically increasing power of individuals at higher states of consciousness, humanity has finally reached a level above the critical threshold of 200. Hawkins stresses that each person has the capacity to have significant influence on the well being of society by prioritizing progression of their individual consciousness.

To read the rest of this article, click here.

Passing Along Astrological Wisdom

I receive plenty of newsletters that are geared towards growing, evolving and awakening…so many that I don’t have the time to thoroughly read them all. But I’m pretty consistent about reading Joan Pancoe’s quarterly Astrological newsletter. I don’t know how I got on her list years ago, but her candid sense of humor, coupled with her spiritual wisdom and the many quotes she shares always holds my interest…even for someone like me who believes in astrology but my mind tends to shut down when people begin to explain the details of it.

For this month’s blog, I thought I would share her newsletter as a way of introducing another wise teacher and resource for those on the awakening path. Joan Pancoe is a spiritual teacher, trance channel, psychic and karmic astrologer in private practice in New York City since 1976. Please enjoy reading her latest cosmic newsletter.