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Our Five Natural Emotions

“Giving and receiving love” – As wonderful and simple as it sounds, this is not always an easy thing to do in this human experience. I think that one of our purposes here as souls is to learn how to freely do this. Yet in order to do this, we have to overcome a lot of our own baggage and unresolved issues. Also, many people have not been modeled how to give and receive love, or how to deal with many of our emotions in the healthiest way. I was thinking about this many years ago when I came across an excerpt about this topic in Book 3 of Neil Donald Walsch’s book series, Conversations with God.

The Conversations with God series was one of the first books that propelled me forward on my personal and spiritual growth journey in the mid-to-late 90’s. When I read it, I could feel the top of my head tingle – a sign that it was ringing true to my Higher Self. I would recommend that book series, beginning with book 1, to anyone on their personal or spiritual growth path.

I remember sharing the book with others, and they either loved it or dismissed it, saying, “How could anyone have a conversation with God?” I maintained that he channeled it from some higher source, and even if you read it as fiction, it was still permeated with logic, reason, wisdom and pure love and acceptance, and it flowed in such a poetic way. I have since realized that when the student is ready, the teaching appears.

Here is an excerpt from book 3 of the series about our five natural emotions. The first and last few paragraphs I have summarized. Enjoy!

Dr. Elisa Kubler-Ross maintains that the basis of all our emotions stem from the “five natural emotions”: Grief, anger, envy, fear and love. (At a still deeper level, grief, anger and envy as based out of fear, thus leaving fear and love as the great polarity. Ultimately, all of our feelings, thoughts, choices and actions are sponsored by and based in love or fear.)

Unfortunately, we have imprisoned our five natural emotions, repressing them and turning them into very unnatural emotions which, in turn, bring us much unhappiness. The model of behaviors for centuries on this planet has been: do not “indulge” your emotions. If you’re feeling grief, get over it; if you’re feeling angry, stuff it; if you’re feeling envious, be ashamed of it; if you’re feeling fear, rise above it; if you’re feeling love, control it, limit it, wait with it, run from it – do whatever you have to do to stop expressing it, full out, right here, right now.

It is time to set ourselves free. We have been living too long in a prison of our own devise. It is time to set our “Holy Selves” free.

Grief is a natural emotion. It’s that part of you which allows you to say goodbye when you don’t want to say goodbye; to express- push out, propel- the sadness within you at the experience of any kind of loss. It could be the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a contact lens.

When you are allowed to express your grief, you get rid of it. Children who are allowed to be sad when they are sad feel very healthy about sadness when they are adults, and therefore usually move through their sadness very quickly.

Children who are told, “There, there, don’t cry,” have a hard time crying as adults. After all, they’ve been told all their life not to do that. So they repress their grief.

Grief that is continually repressed becomes chronic depression, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of chronic depression. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

Anger is a natural emotion. It is the tool you have which allows you to say, “No thank you.” It does not have to be abusive, and it never has to be damaging to another.

When children are allowed to express their anger, they bring a very healthy attitude about it to their adult years, and therefore usually move through their anger very quickly.

Children who are made to feel that their anger is not okay- that it is wrong to express it, and, in fact, that they shouldn’t even experience it-will have a difficult time appropriately dealing with their anger as adults.

Anger that is continually repressed becomes rage, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of rage. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

Envy is a natural emotion. It is the emotion that makes five-year-old wish he could reach the doorknob the way his sister can- or ride that bike. Envy is the natural emotion that makes you want to do it again; to try harder; to continue striving until you succeed. It is very healthy to be envious, very natural. When children are allowed to express envy, they bring a very healthy attitude about it to their adult years, and therefore usually move through their envy very quickly.

Children who are made to feel the envy is not okay- that it is wrong to express it, and, in fact, that they shouldn’t even experience it- will have a difficult time appropriately dealing with their envy as adults.

Envy that is continually repressed becomes jealousy, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of jealously. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

Fear is a natural emotion. All babies are born with only two fears; the fear of falling, and the fear of loud noises. All other fears are learned responses, brought to the child by its environment, taught to the child by its parents. The purpose of natural fear is to build in a bit of caution. Caution is a tool that helps keep the body alive. It is an outgrowth of love. Love of Self.

Children who are made to feel that fear is not okay- that it is wrong to express it, and, in fact, that they shouldn’t even experience it-will have a difficult time appropriately dealing with their fear as adults.

Fear that is continually repressed becomes panic, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of panic. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

Love is a natural emotion. When it is allowed to be expressed, and received, by a child, normally and naturally, without limitation or condition, inhibition or embarrassment, it does not require anything more. For the job of love expressed and received in this way is sufficient until itself. Yet love which has been condition, limited, warped by rules and regulations, rituals and restrictions, controlled, manipulated, and withheld, becomes unnatural.

Children who are made to feel that their natural love is not okay-that it is wrong to express it, and, in fact, that they shouldn’t even experience it-will have a difficult time appropriately dealing with love as adults.

Love that is continually repressed becomes possessiveness, a very unnatural emotion.

People have killed because of possessiveness. Wars have started, nations have fallen.

And so it is that the natural emotions, when repressed, produce unnatural reactions and responses. And most natural emotions are repressed in most people. Yet these are our friends. These are our gifts. These are our divine tools, with which to craft our experience. We are given these tools at birth. They are to help us negotiate life.

We have been living too long in a prison of our own devise. It is time to set ourselves, our “Holy Selves” free.

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